Break a leg!
by Yuilhan
Summary: "Ah... Um…? You're the new student that was supposed to be enrolling, right?" Akiko Kobayashi has a screwed up sense of luck. She finds herself enrolled into a new school, away from her family and friends, and lets face it, things can only get worse from here, right? Well, break a leg ! Akiko. WAIT NO! NOT LITERALLY-!
1. Authors Notice:

**Break a leg~! **

**AUTHORS NOTICE**

* * *

Hello~!

I enjoyed writing Campus Bliss so much, I missed it when I ended it.

I thought to myself, _this can't be it, there must be something I can do._

So I did.

And for two weeks, I've been slowly chipping away at my keyboard to create this monstrosity you will witness when you go to the next chapter. I wrote around seven thousands words for the first chapter, and I'm extremely proud of myself for it. I lose hope usually at around five thousand.

A new OC, a new setting. The same name for the school,though.

Break a leg~! Is completely different to Campus Bliss, but I wanted to link the two somehow, so you may see a little bridge of hope and some familiar faces throughout the story. Perhaps some new ones too. Some things shall be different, some might not be. I'm being a bit evasive, but well... you'll have to read on to find out.

I must say a big thank you to **Shiroi Ichigo-chan** for leafing through an earlier draft and sharing wisdom.

And thank you, dear reader, for stopping to read Break a leg~!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights go to Masashi Kishimoto. Neither do I own various products or confectionary mentioned throughout the story (Thank kami someone thought up the copyright symbol, is all I can say... ****_Thank Kami_****...)**


	2. Chapter 1:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter One: Hot pink Barbie dolls and flashers~_

* * *

Car journeys make me feel sick.

This one in particular was churning my stomach something chronic. It was a one way trip, for now at least. I'd be going home for the Christmas Holidays and such, but that _certainly _didn't stop my abdominal area from clenching at the thought. I've never been away from home for this long. I was happy at my last school.

_Why? Why kami?! _ I smack my forehead against the taxi's rear left passenger window in a repeated motion with a groan. When the driver gives me a terse look I quit, slowly pulling away from the glass pane. I cringe as my fringe sticks to a sticky spot.

_I don't even want to know what that was, or _how_ it got _there _of all places…_

Instead, I try to focus on stopping my seat belt from slicing through my neck. The damn thing must have been a boa constrictor in another life, because it certainly wants to strangle me to death! As soon as I pull it back from the aggravated flesh, it slithers up my shoulder and resumes its earlier position. _If I have a mark on my neck by the end of this, do you think they'll believe me if I said I was molested by an inanimate object?_

The cabby driver forces a sharp left, and chuckles – much to my embarrassment- as I spread eagle my arms across the back seats in an attempt to steady myself.

_Stupid jerk did that on purpose- Uh-oh!_

I can see the formation of hell on the horizon. Boarding school. Ugh…

_Somebody play the funeral march for me please?_

It gradually looms closer; the grand brick building and wrought iron gates; the manicured lawns and precise topiaries that line the sandy gravel driveway. Mentally I calculate how much time it would take me to ninja flip out of the car and rescue my holdall from the boot. I never was any good at maths, so I eventually give up with a huff and try to stop the itchy seatbelt from decapitating me. I liked my neck as it was…

"Oi."

"What?" I snap to the driver. The gurgling in my stomach ceases to fail. _Maybe I should leave him a parting present in the back of his cab for laughing at me earlier?_

"We're here."

_What?! He's only just reached the gates? Lazy sod you're supposed to take me to the front door! _

"I thought you were supposed to take me to the school, not the gates."

"Never said that did I?"

"…"

"Get out of my cab, kid."

* * *

"Stupid arse of a man-" I'm seething, dragging my holdall behind me like a child with an overgrown rag-doll. I really should take more care of my possessions, but at the moment, I couldn't care less. I only had the overnight bag with me because the moving van would be arriving with the rest of my stuff in a few days, so I only needed to take the bare necessities such as spare clothes and toiletries with me for now. Not only had the ridiculous excuse of a chauffeur (note my sarcasm there, the taxi was no Bentley…) left me to walk the remaining two miles up the driveway to the main campus (yes the place was that big), he'd fleeced me of a ridiculous fare fee (no expense spared thanks to my shiny new credit card and abundant allowance) and also had the audacity to inquire for a tip. Not to mention the stupid safety belt had left a bruise on my neck! It looked… well… it looked like someone had taken a bit of an _interest_ in my décolletage, if you catch my drift?

Thinking of several nasty ways to inflict injuries on a person with only a credit card, I was particularly proud of the idea that if I threw in with enough force like a shruiken, it would embed itself in _someone's_ eye. I sighed in satisfaction at the fact I would have my revenge. If only hypothetically.

_Ah! Salvation! _ I cry internally at the sight of what the expensive-looking brochure had called the 'Front of House' only a few feet away. The mid-afternoon sun is beating down on my back, my legs are all dusty from the gravel driveway, and I don't even want to think about how much sweat is clinging to my hairline… _Ew… _

Hopefully the person behind the reception desk is used to seeing sweaty teens. _Well that sounds wrong…_ _stupid brain. _I push on one of the heavy oak doors that separate me from shade and recuperation, the dark wood thrumming with the afternoon rays, stings my hands. "Why won't this thing giv-Ah-Ha!" I cry as the door finally swings open. _Oh~! Hello there air conditionin-woah!_

Not only is it egg-frying temperature outside, it's like a flipping sauna in the main reception; obviously my presumption that the boarding-school-from-hell would have a cooling system was completely erroneous , seeing as the secretary on duty had his shirt off and his feet up on the desk; wafting himself with a paper fan that suspiciously looked like administration drudgery.

"Wah!" He scrambles to find his shirt, arms flailing as the spinney-chair he perches on nearly capsizes.

When he's decent and seated on the chair again, I raise an eyebrow questioningly. He blushed in return, matching the deep rouge of the brightly patterned top he sports, dark hair flopping into deep coloured eyes obscuring most of his face bar the overgrown goatee parading on his chin and what looks like a Breathe Right© nasal strip latched onto the bridge of his nose.

"How can I help you today Miss…?"

"Kobayashi. Akiko Kobayashi."

"Ah... Um…? You're the new student that was supposed to be enrolling, right?" _seeing as you're such a fantastic secretary, how would this place function without you? I bet it would fall to pieces…_

"Yes, that's me." I force a smile, ignoring my inner sarcastic monologue.

'Kotetsu' (I'd spied his name badge on the newly reinstated shirt) did a little flick round his 'office space' with his shadowy orbs, seemingly checking for something important. His eyes land on the paper fan I'd caught him with before and he gulps. With shifty hands he smooth's the creases out of the paper before handing it to me.

"H-here's your map of the campus… Oh! And here's your timetable and guidebook!" Kotetsu looks at me like a kicked puppy, blatantly guilt tripping me into silence for disrupting his little 'break-time' despite him being on the job, and holds out the three items for me to collect; the latter two are not creased, thankfully, instead, they look like they've been held on standby. For about fifteen years. Seriously, this is supposed to be a private boarding school. It's funded by the Konoha's elite families, even some from _Suna_, and those who stupidly scrape enough together to send their kids here; how can they not afford new equipment?

"I'll just let the Head know you've arrived…" he mumbles, lazily tapping the buttons on his mandatory secretarial telephone and uttering a few ushered sentences to the recipient.

"Ah... Unfortunately, both the Head and Deputy Head are… _unavailable_ at the moment, so someone else is going to escort you round the campus." Kotetsu wheels round on his chair as another man joins him behind the desk after surfacing from some secret door I didn't notice before, which I'm guessing leads to the administration part of the main office. The said man, dumps a further pile of papers in front of Kotetsu; "Gee, thanks Izumo, just when I thought there would be _no more work_ for me to do… " He scoffs at the towering pile that's leaning rather dangerously to one side. The two share a look prior to turning to face me.

"Miss Kobayashi-"

"-Akiko"

"Akiko-chan, then?" I nod, "This is my colleague Izumo, he's going to show you to the girl's dorm and introduce you to the dorm head there, okay?" I nod again, and 'Izumo', finding yet another hidey-hole to slip through, somehow appears at my side. I jump from the surprise, one hand floating slightly to my heart.

_Are these people freaking ninja's or something!? I'm going into cardiac arrest here!_

A light tap to my shoulder snaps me out of my reverie, and I follow Izumo to the door I entered through, giving the man a small smile as he hold open the door, (_What a gent…_ ) he follows me, slamming the heavy door behind him.

I giggle as I hear a small avalanche of paper and a cry of despair escape from Kotetsu. Izumo seems to find it funny too.

* * *

Izumo, from what I can tell, is a man of few words compared to his chatty counterpart back in the office: dark hair sweeps over one of his eyes, and the other appraises his surroundings closely for any protection against the sun, the bandana he wears can't be helping him from getting heatstroke any time soon, I know it's not the start of term yet, but Kotetsu was wearing – well, after he covered himself he was- a Hawaiian shirt for crying out loud.

Is it dress down day or something?

For about five minutes after we started on our way to the girl's dorms, I could hear a constant stream of cussing. No doubt Kotetsu's 'gonna be a little ray of sunshine after Izumo's finished guiding me round… Still, I can't say that it wasn't funny, because it was…

When Izumo does speak however, I can tell from the weight of his words that he is the more serious of the two. He'd point out the little details, such as how I'm not really supposed to walk across the front lawns leading up to the main entrance like we were now, but –and I quote, unquote- _'seeing as it's so hot out, today can be an exception and we can take the short-cut'_ I can't really blame him either, I'm sure my arms will turn a lovely shade of crimson by the time we reach our destination. I never did fair well with sunlight, and I've always hated summer, so it was just my luck that my parents packed me off to boarding school a week before the term started; just when summer was ending and autumn began, so I'd be a charred crisp on the first day of school. Apparently, it would be a good idea for me to go early so I could get 'acquainted' with some of the students and the campus. They held a good point in their argument, because I seriously didn't like the idea of playing Where's Wally© again after I'd had four years to get comfortable at my old school- ARGH! Why did they have to up**ROOT [1]** me?! I was pretty happy there, held good grades, and had a good circle of friends! Then they had to just move me here because they could afford it now and it would look more prestigious than some public school on my CV and Uni applications. I swear money changes people, I do! –

Izumo clears his throat. Oh right, I've been ignoring him for a while now… _Whoopsies~!_

I smile nervously and he continues, "As I was saying," he raises one visible eyebrow slowly, "The school has six main parts; the Primary school, High School and Sixth Form, the dorms, recreational centres and the front of house. You've just been to the front of House, so if you do have any problems, just come and find me or Kotetsu, and we'll sort things out for you, okay?" I nod, "The Recreational centres such as the gym, pool and the library are all open until nine, and dorm curfew for people in High School and above is ten PM, so you have absolutely no excuse to be out past curfew, okay?" I nod again.

"Just how big is the campus, Izumo-san?"

"Big enough that I haven't seen all of it."

"You're joking right?"

"'Fraid not… Literally the only places I've been to, are the front of House, Dorms, Recreational centres and sometimes the High School if needs be. I'd rather not step foot in the Primary school. I have a feeling I won't come out without being harassed by children…" He shudders and I wonder if the heat has finally gotten to him or if the children that are enrolled here are _that bad._

"Ah, here we are." I have to stop suddenly to keep myself from slamming into his back. I lean round his body to gawk at the tall building in front of me. The charred orange bricks blind my eyes in the bright afternoon glow, the rickety window panes, ornate and gleaming, welcome me. _I can just imagine how this place looks a Christmas… _ I think to myself, envisioning several different picturesque greetings cards with the old snow dusted Victorian town houses splayed on the front.

"This is the girl's dorm, the boy's dorm is to the right, and the one on your far left is for those who prefer to stay as a family unit."

"What about the one on my closest left?"

"That one's for staff."

"Oh."

On closer inspection of the building in front of me, I can deduce that some _absolute genius_ has lathered one of the ornate doors of the girl's dorm hot pink. It's so bright my eyes twitch after staring at it for too long. Similarly, the boy's dorm door has been coated in a vivid light blue, the family dorm door is red, and the staff's is plain black. How creative.

A little plaque with '少女' ('Shojo') hovers above the door frame. Somehow I don't think I'll be mixing up which dorm I live in…

Izumo bounds up to the door (He must be insanely brave, or maybe he just likes hot pink?) and raps on the door, tentatively becoming with his free hand for me to follow him. After a few moments, a woman with violet hair fanned out behind her head in a loose up-do swings the pink monstrosity open.

"What?"

"Nice to see you too, Anko." Izumo says dryly.

"Cut the niceties, Izumo." Said man sighs.

"I brought a new addition to your dorm…"

"Fan-fucking-tastic…" the woman grumbles, eyeing me up with dark discernments.

Izumo's lips twitch slightly- _was that supposed to be a smile?- _and he turns to me, "Well, this is where I leave you Akiko-chan, remember, if you need anything, go to your dorm head here; Anko Mitarashi, or if you can't find her, pay Kotetsu and I a visit" I smile lightly, he's so polite it's unreal… "Oh, and before I forget, welcome to TonTon Gakuen-"

"-Yeah, yeah, scoot off back to your office now Izumo, I got it from here…" and she grabs me by the arm, yanking me through the door and shutting it in his face. I hear him chuckle from on the other side of the door until Anko drags me down the hall in a frogmarch.

"Introductions kid; I'm Anko Mitarashi, your dorm head from now on, curfew is at 10pm, don't be late or I'll kick your arse, don't do anything else to piss me off and we'll get along just fine, 'kay?"

"Uh…Yeah?"

"What's your name kid?"

"Akiko Kobayashi, Mitarashi-san"

"For the love of dango, call me Anko for fucks sake…"

"Yes, Anko for fucks sake" I bite back sarcastically and jump when she cackles.

"You and I are going to get along just fine Kid…"

Anko leads me up three flights of stairs, along two dusty corridors: making a left on the first one and a right to find the second one before preparing to abandon me in front of one of one of the most secluded and dust coated rooms I've ever witnessed. Obviously Anko isn't much of a domestic goddess… She grabs my left hand and slats a key in my upturned palm.

"You're in room 303 kid, the last one available. I don't care if it's dusty and shit, it's _your_ room, so it's _your_ responsibility, so _you_ can clean it up. Feel free to go crazy with paint or whatever floats your boat. Oh, if you need to know, you've got a kid called TenTen living next door to you in 302, Hinata Hyūga across from you in 307 and Sakura Haruno up the hall in room 299. They're all about your age, so play nice. Now get the fuck out of my sight, I'm missing my soaps because of this…" And with that, she slopes away, violet hair bobbing with every stride.

_Kami, I hate to admit it but I miss home… _my gurgling stomach agrees.

_Great, by this rate I'll have an abdominal ulcer for Christmas…_

Sliding the key into the lock, and turning it with a slight _click_, I enter my home from home for the next ten months or so. I let my holdall thump onto the floor, which is coated with dust and bits of other crap. It certainly hasn't been cleaned since the last resident left, much to my dismay. The first thing I do is wrestle with the window to let the room air. There's a slight breeze flowing outside now, despite the muggy heat.

The single bed has been stripped bare, the white metal frame looks battered, but in a charmingly vintage fashion, and thankfully there's a new mattress provided- plastic wrapping still intact, but no fresh sheets. There's a chest of draws and a tall wardrobe that sport the same distressed look, plus a narrow bookcase barren of novels against the wall next to the entrance. There's another door on my right that I presume is the on-suite, but seeing the state the floor is in, I don't want to chance any horrors that may be lurking in the bath tub just yet.

I pad over to the window that lies directionally across from the room entrance, noting the functional and misplaced looking desk and spinney chair that sit to the right of the window sill, compared to the rustic beauty of the rest of the furniture. Sticking my head out in to the refreshing breeze, I work out that my room must be on the right hand side of the building, as I can spy a few male students milling about in the gap they've left between the dorms, which are mostly a thin flagged pathway and some grass. You'd think they'd have planted privacy hedges or installed some sort of fence, but _nope_. I'm 'gonna be paranoid now for the rest of the school year, because there's a window straight across from mine – the blinds are down in that room though, thank Kami…

A knock on the door startles me, and I _nearly _topple out of the window. Recovering, I go to answer it.

"Hi there!" A tall girl chirps, brown hair twisted into two cute bun-shapes on the top of her head, while another girl with pale eyes and dark hair, and one with _pink_ hair smile shyly at me.

"Uh…" _Is the most intelligible thing I can say?_

"Nice to meet you!" the tall girl chirps again, grasping my hand and shaking it wildly. "I'm TenTen, this is Hinata" she gestures to the dark haired girl still jolting my hand, "and this is Sakura" she motions to the girl with bubble-gum hair.

"I'm Akiko. Akiko Kobayashi."

"Nice to meet'cha Aki-chan!" _I've only been here for five minutes and I've got a nickname? Wow…_

"Y-yes, h-h-hello." Hinata quivers, and I give her a small smile for reassurance.

"Yeah, hi." Sakura says, looking a bit awkward.

"A-Anko-san, s-s-said to bring you th-hese up." Hinata offers me some bed linen, whilst TenTen, sans shaking my hand, thrusts a duvet and pillow into my face. I struggle to grasp hold of it, and pitch it onto the bed.

"Why don't you all come in?" I suggest.

* * *

I realised throughout that first week that I had been rather fortunate to meet TenTen, Hinata and Sakura. After I'd invited them in and forced the mass of duvet to yield, they had been as kind as to help me set up my room. I hadn't noticed it before, but Sakura had carted a tub of cleaning products to my room; complete with heavy duty rubber gloves that had a fur trim. I sincerely hoped they were pulling my leg, they were a hideous neon pink like the front door and the trim just added to the _beauty, _but later found out they originally belonged to Anko... I shuddered at the thought.

TenTen was a bright and bubbly girl, and mostly chattered away with me and Sakura.

Hinata was pleasant, a little too quiet if you asked me, but had a likeness with Izumo; she held weight in her choice of words. She was a supremely polite person, and I respected her for it.

Sakura however baffled me. The girl was constantly changing; cheerful one minute, moping the next, and then inflamed with raging anger. At one time when she curled her fist, arms shaking in silent rage, I feared for my new bedroom walls.

When I pressed TenTen and Hinata on the matter however, they cleanly stated she was going through 'rehab', quickly adding when my eyes widened to the likeness of saucers that she had been a 'fan girl', before coming to her senses. _"She has her good and bad days" _TenTen had said with a shrug.

When the cleaning had concluded, we strolled to the front of house, catching Izumo and Kotetsu locking up for the day, I had asked them bout painting my walls a different colour (they were a sickly oatmeal grey at the moment, it made me feel like a convict staring at their bland palate). Kotetsu lifted a shoulder and told me to take it up with the janitor tomorrow. With that useful nugget of advice, we trudged back to the dorms.

The next day, as promised, the moving van arrived with my belongings parcelled in little brown boxes. My new trio of friends once again pitched in and helped me heave them up stairs. I did not unpack them until two days later, after coating the insipid fortifications for bedroom walls a soft teal blue, courtesy of the janitor. It seemed that students decorating their own rooms were a common occurrence; the guy practically had his own DIY store in his little shed. It felt nice to have my creature comforts around me; my favoured novels stacked on the bookcase, piles of sketchbooks and bundles of art supplies flooding the desk, a few photo frames, one blanket that when folded and secured with a built in zip doubled as a pillow**[2]** plus all of my clothes; they sadly smelt of home and comforting washing detergent. A small pang would hit me each time I went to search for clothes.

The rest of the week was the girls giving me an in-depth tour of the campus, and I'm not just talking about the buildings, _oh no_…

They showed me the kitchen and dining rooms in the dorm. They showed me the recreational centres (the gym, swimming pool, library, _crappers_! there was also a theatre-come-cinema for crying out loud…), the so-called hot guys, and the people to avoid:

"I suggest you stay well clear of Ino and Karin" Sakura said, sniffing slightly.

"Eh?" _I am such a literate individual, first 'uh' and now 'eh'? I bet they think I was dropped on my head as a child… Oh wait, I was… kinda-_**[3]** "Ino and Karin are what you could say…Erm…" TenTen continues, disrupting my trail of thought and contemplating how to phrase her words.

"T-total bitches?" I raise my eyebrows at Hinata's spike in attitude.

"Yeah!" Sakura and TenTen echo.

"Would you care to elaborate?" I ask.

"…" Sakura narrows her eyes a little, "…You know I have my moments, right?" I nod, "They made me into that. I guess you could say when I was younger I gave into peer-pressure too quickly. Ino seems to think that excessive dieting will make you a better person, and Karin seems to think it's acceptable to throw yourself at anything with a dic- anyway; the two of them combined is bad news. At the time, we all had a crush on the same guy. The only problem was that he didn't return any of our feelings. Of course he didn't, he had hordes of girls fawning over him, and I was the one to realise that first off, so I gave up, I guess... They gave me hell for it, said I was worthless. Can I ask you do you think my forehead looks big-"

"_Sakura!_" TenTen hisses and the said girl dips her head sheepishly.

"Sorry… issues… they still haven't given up on him. They don't see that he has someone special in his heart, and instead force themselves on him. When they found out whom it was he had in mind over them, they turned on the poor girl."

"I-I am s-s-strong, Sakura-chan… I w-won't let them g-get to me."

I let out a low whistle, "Hinata~! You seductress, you~!" I nudge the girl and wink, causing her to flush several hues of red. _Hey I never knew that was possible! _

"So yeah, that's why it's best to stay clear of them and remain neutral. With you being new and all you're seen as a new 'threat'" TenTen drawls enthusiastically, rolling her eyes.

"Anyone else who'll jump me on the first day?"

"The Akatsuki." TenTen retorts.

"A-ca-wha?"

"Akatsuki. 'Nough said."

* * *

It was the day I had dreaded the most. The first day of the school term. And to make matters worse, the gurgling I'd experience in the taxi and outside my dorm room was back.

People had been arriving all of a sudden through the latter of the week, arms laden with cases and boxes, scurrying to their allotted rooms in fluster to unpack, and the start of term had creeped closer oh-so quickly.

I'd had brief run in with Ino this morning in the kitchen over some Nutella©, (I'd spread some on my toast for breakfast, and she'd given me a look of disgust as it smeared round my mouth while I ate…) collected my new uniform from Anko, and chatted to the gang for the latter of my 'settling in' week. But now, the time I had been avoiding thinking about had arrived. No! Not _that _kind of time **[4]**, the start of the school term you lewd people!

I felt like a Year Seven again, fiddling with the black tie with the schools coat of arms (the Konoha symbol) etched onto the point of the tie in gold embroidery thread, white shirt and grey fitted skirt, making sure it fell to my knees (it was made of that stretchy kind of material, the type that itches if you don't wear tights underneath and rides up if you don't constantly pull it down. I could see fun times ahead with me and this skirt…). A pair of sheer black tights covered my legs, sensible but cute flats on my feet, and a deep navy blazer was slung over the back of the desk chair.

I begin weaving my hair into a chunky braid. It was uncontrollable, tangling down my back, but after growing it out for so many years, I couldn't bring myself to part with it. My hair is an odd colour. Predominantly brown, but mottled and constantly changing; deep brunette in winter, streaked with gold in summer time, and ginger looking in some lights. Today was a ginger day. In the en-suit mirror (the built-in bathroom wasn't as unhygienic as I'd expected, only needing quick bleach dousing in some places) two pale blue eyes stare back, ringed with long lashes, a skinny long nose and two think lips also feature on the mirror girls visage. The narrow shape of my face extends as I let out a sigh, azure eyes curdling in faint depression.

Might as well get this over with…

I grab my bag, and knock on TenTen's door, she smiles as she answers, also grabbing her stuff. We try checking in on Sakura and Hinata but it seems they already left.

"Do you want any breakfast?" TenTen inquires, lips quirky at the sign of cereal boxes on the long dining room serving board.

"Nah, I ate earlier. I'm feeling a bit sick now though…"

"You don't need to be nervous y'know. Hinata, Sakura and I have got your back."

"Mah… I just feel queasy from the _excitement_" and I flash a sarcastic grin.

"_That's the spirit~!" _she cajoles.

* * *

I was hoping to have left most of the weirdo's from public school behind, but it turned out I was wrong. For a start, my Form Tutor **[5]** had gravity defying silver hair that flopped over one eye, a tendency to pull his turtle neck sweater over his face and up to his nose, and had his head in a 'mature' novel whilst simultaneously introducing me to the rest of the class. I hadn't arrived late, thanks to TenTen as I'd found out shortly after breakfast that we were in the same Form group, saving me from wandering round the school like a lost duckling, but I'd been waiting outside the room for the teacher to turn up for almost fifteen minutes so he could go through the formalities. When he did arrive, clutching an evil little orange book, and offering no excuse for his tardiness, irritation picked at me. Kakashi-sensei gave me a crinkled eye smile over the top of his novel, and led the way into the classroom.

I recognised Hina-chan, TenTen and Sakura huddling somewhere in the middle, but they were also surrounded by some boys I didn't know. One of them had pale eyes like Hinata, so I guessed he was a relative of hers, another had blazing blonde hair and cerulean eyes, while the third boy sitting with them had triangular markings on his cheeks-and _wait! Is that a puppy?!_

"Class this is Akiko Kobayashi. She will be joining us from now on in this form. Why don't you introduce yourself? Likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams will do…" Kakashi-sensei mutters, still immersed in his 'book'.

"Uh… Well… My name is Akiko Kobayashi" (I'm getting sick of introducing myself…) "I like orange juice, cats and autumn afternoons-" I shoot a pointed glare at someone who snickers. Disrespectful hellion! "-Don't ask why I just do. I dislike coffee, arrogance and people with no manners. My hobbies are… well I'll leave you to befriend me before I indulge you with that! And my dreams…? Uh… that's a secret?"

"Thanks, why don't you go and take a seat?" I nod at the tall teacher, who bores a similar resemblance of a scare crow, I notice, and make my way to my new friends and their acquaintances. On the way there I spot a shifty looking bunch at the back which seems to think that wearing your uniform like you're preparing to rip it off is in fashion. Well, apart from one red head that garbs his livery properly, his dull eyes observing the rest of the room before catching mine, then smirking and turning away. A long haired blonde sat on his right who was scantily clad (shirt unbuttoned halfway down her chest, blazer nowhere to be seen, and a tie making an extremely loose noose) is leering like she's Kami's gift to the world.

_I already do not like the look of them… and shouldn't Barbie be covered up properly, nobody wants to see boob slip… well I guess they guys wouldn't mind… but still… _Another with slicked down silver hair and magenta eyes isn't actually wearing a shirt, and some kind of rosary is swinging from his neck, but it isn't from any religion I've come across. _Must be in some kind of cult…_

"Hey there!" a hyper voice I identify as the blazing blond calls, as I scoot into an empty seat next to Hinata.

"Hey yourself, uh…?"

"Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki."

"Nice to meet you Naruto." I turn to Hinata's alleged relation, quirking an eyebrow.

"I am Neji Hyūga. I am Hinata's cousin."

"Nice to meet you. I chanced you were of some relation, you share the same eyes…"

"Mn." _Well someone needs to remove the pole from up their arse…_

"Kiba Inuzuka," the guy with the fang-like face markings shakes my hand passionately. He reminds me of a Labrador. "And this is my dog Akamaru!" he points to the white puppy that's currently milling round my chair legs. Said pup barks when I coo and pat him on the head. I was going to ask why Akamaru was here of all places, seeing as this is a _school_ and all, but seeing how the puppy was unrestrained, he couldn't have been a guide dog, so the only logical reason left was that Kiba's family had influence and the faculty let him do whatever he wanted.

"Nice to meet you all!" I grin at them, "Stupid question, but who are the shady ones at the back. Barbie there is practically whoring herself out…"

"I HEARD THAT, UN!" _Whoopsies~!_

TenTen slaps her forehead and the others groan.

"H-he isn't a g-g-girl Aki-chan…" Hinata whispers quickly.

"Could've fooled me…" I grumble, eyeing the tranny-wannabe cautiously. Her-_erm, His?_ red head companion is currently restraining him from storming across the room and throttling me, blond hair contrasting with the rage induced flush flooding his face.

"FUCKING BITCH! I'M A GUY, YEAH!" O_h he does not look like a happy chappy, way to go Aki… _

"Way to go, Akiko-chan," Kiba drawls, leaning back on two chair legs, hands resting behind his head lazily, I'm resisting the urge to kick it out from under his feet; this opportunity was perfect, because back in my old school you'd have to watch your back with these kind of tricks – even your friends would turn on you for a quick laugh… "You've only been here for five minutes and you've managed to piss off Deidara no Iwa of the Akatsuki."

"Dei-wha? Aca-wha?"

"IT'S DEIDARA! D-E-I-D-A-MMMFFF!" 'Deidara's' red headed companion clamps a hand over his mouth.

"Be quiet brat…"

"Yeah, quit bitching fucktard, she's not the first one to mistake you for a bitch." the silver-haired-shirtless-dude says.

"MMFF MUUU, MWWDNN!" (Translated as "Fuck you, Hidan!")

"Urusai!" Sasori barks, voice laced with venom. I shiver from where I watch, across the classroom.

"Got to admit, the new bitch got you good…"

"Urusai, Hidan!"

"Fuck you Woody, Jashin smite thee-"

"If you all do not 'shut up' maybe you'll find some solace in detention?" Kakashi-sensei offers in a placated voice, not looking up from his pervy book.

It is pleasantly quiet for the remainder of form time.

* * *

Thankfully for me, the rest of my first day passed uneventfully, no Akatsuki members jumping me or Ino and Karin on the prowl. I was kind of surprised; I mean, I'll hurdle the Ino and Karin bridge when the time arose, but seeing as I 'pissed off' an almighty A-cat-sue-key (No matter how hard my new found friends lectured me on how to pronounce it properly, the name fumbled clumsily on my tongue…) member. But I'm sure Deidara – that was his name and he wouldn't let me forget it, was planning something. From what I'd heard, they A-cat-sue-key always got their man- er, woman… (whatever… ) and that I was lucky not to be K.O'd on the floor after insulting him; which only added to my suspicion that he was planning something elaborate…

One gripe I did have though was that the new school uniform was beginning to itch, despite the rest of my day flowing smoothly.

I'd made even more acquaintances at lunchtime, when TenTen, Sakura, Hinata, Naruto, Kiba and Neji lead the way to their specific dining table, we were met my a 'chubby' boy who went by Choji, one with tragic eyebrows and an outdated bowl cut who introduced himself as Lee Rock, and got into the habit of calling me 'Snap Dragon' because my hair inspired him with its 'youthful flames', plus a final boy wearing dark round-lensed glasses who familiarised himself as Shino Aburame. They were all pretty welcoming, even if Lee was a little overbearing and Neji and Shino had problems socialising, but it was fine. They made you feel accepted. It didn't feel so much of a square peg trying to fit in a round hole with them, especially seeing as my background was different from theirs. When challenged on why I had transferred at such a late point in my high school education, not only did I tell them my own, but I also got their backstories too.

"My father is the governor for the school" Naruto had boasted, scooping ramen from his _third_ bowl with anticipation.

"Hinata, Hanabi and myself are Hyūga's" Neji scoffed like it was obvious. I knew the Hyūga's had an awful amount of power, seeing as they were one of Konoha's elite families I had mentioned earlier, but how they had produced such a sweet girl like Hina-chan baffled me when you put her next to Neji…

"We've b-b-been in this Academy s-s-ince the r-reception stage. Many Hyūga's h-h-have attended TonTon o-o-ver the generations, s-s-s-s-so it's tradition b-by now… Hanabi is my little sister, she has just started to attend highschool " Hinata followed up from her frosty cousin's statement with a small smile in my direction. She knew that he was being an arse, and I wondered if she'd always had to put up with him, the poor sod…

"Same here" Kiba, Shino and Choji piped up. _So they attend because it's tradition to do so in their family? Bah!_

"My parents earn enough to send me here, so I'm here" Sakura trundled off, watching Naruto eat with a disgusted expression. They boy was now starting on a fourth bowl ramen. _Where does he put it all?_

"Lee and I were both fortunate to find scholarships; we both attended Ton Ton from the start of high school. So our little group al formed around then" Ten Ten supplied, and Lee wittered on about how 'youthful' the surprise that he had achieved a scholarship to such a 'prestigious institute' had been.

Then they all looked at me, expectancy slathered on their faces.

Letting out a sigh, I began my tale:

"So one day, my mum and I went to get some petrol before going shopping. Randomly I had a craving for some skittles©, so went in with her when she went to pay after filling up the car. She also bought a lottery ticket- why still escapes me, and told me to pick the numbers. Thinking nothing of it, I munched on my skittles©, followed her round the supermarket and helped unpack the groceries when we got home. It was later that day when our number- _my_ numbers, the one that _I _handpicked appeared on the lottery draw, did things change. Money corrupts people, I swear to Kami. Over the two months after the win, both of my parents had upgraded their cars, and we'd moved house. I miss my old house- anyways, my mother's friend's sister-in-law's daughter had been doing this voice-over-narration-thing for Ton Ton, and was gossiping to my mum at how 'posh' it was here, and so that's how I ended up attending Ton Ton. Simply because my parents thought it would look better on my CV's and Application forms if I had graduated from a school like this."

Naruto had let out a low whistle that was seemingly impossible to do, seeing as he was eating ramen, and the others, satisfied with my explanation, left it be thank Kami.

I let myself into my dorm room when school ended, dumping my bag next to the foot of my bed unceremoniously- I can't wait to relieve myself of the dreaded school uniform; throwing off the blazer and tie before unbuttoning my shirt and padding over to my chest of draws to retrieve a random tee and some pyjama bottoms that smelt like home comforts. It's not that I didn't like wearing a uniform, I had to wear one at my last school and all, it was just the fact that it was _new_ so the fabric of the blazer and the shirt collars were still stiff and itchy from all the compression they'd been under. Of course, after they'd been through the worn-and-washed cycle a couple of times I'd feel the difference, but as of now it felt that something had been crawling round my neck, much like the seatbelt in the taxi had been. Thankfully, the shirt collar covered the "_bruise_" the seatbelt had left (It still hadn't healed for some reason) so I didn't have to worry about _that_.

I left my blind open, because the person living opposite me seems to never open theirs, so I see no point in closing it every time just because they're a shut in. I know it's wrong of me to parade round in front of an open window half-naked, but I didn't see any harm at the time. I was being foolish; having that happy-'yay I have friends and a possible enemy'-vibe floating through my bloodstream.

Unfortunately for me as I pull the t-shirt over my head facing the window pane, I fail to notice that the guy living across from me _had _opened his roller blind, and as I flick my hair out of the back collar, my eyes snap to meet theirs, screeching in horror and fumbling with the cords to create a barrier as the person in question ogles back with a huge blush tinging his cheeks.

A face that I would never have expected to see was _looking_ at me. _Me. _I'd only met the guy this morning, and I know he's a hormonal male adolescent and all, but I'd only taken my top off and put another one quickly, so was that level of blush really necessary?!

I knew from then on, when I saw his pink tinged face and wide blue eyes, that I would never hear the end of this incident from Deidara no Iwa.

* * *

**[1] Did'ya see what I did there?!)**

**[2] I actually own one of these, and it is the warmest thing alive!**

**[3] Another story for another time. It involves me, KitKats, split lips and a door being opened when I was right behind it when I was a toddler…**

**[4] Understand, my fellow females shall… YODA SPEAK!**

**[5] The equivalent of Home Room Teacher's for my international readers~!**

**7000+ words for a first chapter? That's so unlike me, I know, but this time, I wanna take things slowly and in more detail, so if my updates for Break a leg~! aren't as swift as they were for Campus Bliss, it's because time and affection is being woven into every sentence~!**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Magi" - Kalafina (Nightcore version)

"Nicotine" - Panic! At The Disco

"Discord" - Eurobeat Brony (Living Tombstones Remix)

"Niwaka Ame ni mo Makezu" - NICO Touches the Walls

"Tensai Shingaa Bonsai Shingaa" - Kagamine Len (produced by Kemu)

"Little Donkey" - Florrible and Misrabella (WAAAH! I love this song~!)

**So what d'ya think? Reviews are welcome~!**


	3. Chapter 2:

**Break a leg~! **

~_chapter Two: 'Effin tomato-loving barstool!~_

* * *

My intolerable shrieking must have alerted my neighbours. Of course, that would be the only thing permitting Sakura to hulk smash my door down, and have my friends pile into my room in panic.

I blink at the now closed blind, heart going ten to the dozen. Releasing the pully-cords, and taking a few steps back, I fall gently to my knees... _Hey maybe I'm dreaming?_

I pinch myself.

It… _hurts…_

"Oh… f-huck…" my breath hitches in my throat. Concerned, the meek Hyūga and the pinkette stumble deeper into the now darkened room.

"W-wha?" Hinata seems a little lost for words, whilst Sakura pants from her little 'outburst'.

"I- and the- blind- and I wasn't, and he- and" My voice can barely keep abreast with the swirling sensation in my brain.

"Whoah, whoah woah! _Slow down_, Akiko"

"What happened, I heard shrieking!" TenTen scrambles into my room, tripping over my school bag and frowns over at me, where I'm currently shaking like a leaf in hysteria.

"-and-_fuck_, and I-bra-and, I CAN NEVER GET MARRIED NOW!" _Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating, b-b-b-but _I _wasn't the one blushing like a virgin on her wedding night! _(Yes I have old morals…) _seriously, I think he broke Hinata's flush record… I didn't know people could go that red-_

"A-a-are you o-okay, A-a-akiko-chan?" Hinata joins TenTen in examining me closely, thinking I may snap at any given moment.

I shake my head. No, I am _definitely _not okay.

The trio watch me, cautiously. I must look like I'm about to blow up.

"D…D…D-d-deidara no Iwa just saw me topless…"

….

….

….

"…" Sakura stares.

"…"Hinata blushes…

TenTen?

She howls with laughter:

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!" she wipes a tear from her eye, "That's the best thing I've heard all year!" She moves and slaps me on the back; I jolt forward meekly with a slight 'meep!' noise. The girl slaps hard. _Remind me to never get on her bad side…_

"A-ano? TenTen…? I-I-I d-d-don't think A-akiko-chan w-w-was k-k-kidding…."

_Too right Hinata. I wish I was though…_

I'm ashamed to say at this point I burst into tears.

"Urgh… Ermmm…Hinata she's snotting on me! Grab some Kleenex©!" TenTen yells frantically as I sob into her uniform. "Aki, I've got to wear that tomorrow, let go…" I do as she asks, and latch onto Hinata who mops the streaming tears from my face. _She's such a sweet heart… I can't believe that jerk-face-Neji is her cousin…_

"A-ano, it'll b-b-be o-kay Akiko-chan!" she sounds so reassuring that I just _have _to cry harder.

"Well, it's not the end of the world right? He didn't see you in your birthday suit, just your bra right?" TenTen adds, oh-so helpfully.

Sakura's been awfully quiet for a while now, so we look across to her expectantly, waiting for her view on this fucked up predicament.

"…Not the end of the world… birthday suit… _just your bra…_"

_Um… somehow I think Sakura isn't okay… just a little hunch I had there…_

"That's what I said, right?" TenTen mutters sceptically.

"…Just your bra…"

_Okay now I'm wigging out… Sakura has never been this… homicidal? …Yet?_

That was an understatement if ever I thought it; the girl had anger rolling off her in waves. **_Waves_**I tell you!

"I SHOULD GO KNOCK THE FUCKER INTO NEXT WEEK! WAIT UNTIL I SEE HIM! I'LL FUCKING BRAID HIS HAIR AND HANG HIM WITH IT! **[1]** FUCKING PERVERT SHOULD GO DIE IN A CESS PIT!" she snarls in venomous punctuation, little spitty-bits escaping as she huffs and puffs lividly.

From TenTen and Hinata's stares, I do believe this is the first time they've ever seen her react his way too…

…And that little glance the two of them share suggests that neither one of them want to get too close nor try to calm her; lest they get mauled to death of course. Like the supportive friends they are, they shuffle behind me, and give me an encouraging shove on the back towards the volatile pinkette.

"Sakura-chan, its fine… Seriously! Believe me when I say that I'll get my own back" I say darkly. "Can I steal the hair braiding idea though for future reference?" I place a hand on her shoulder and smile in a monstrous little way **[2]**. She relaxes, and smirks along with me. Before we know it, we're cackling in a full blown 'evil mastermind' way. Hinata and TenTen, not sure what to do with themselves, take a seat on my bed, watching as I slowly push the fragile pinkette towards my wardrobe.

_That's it, keep on laughing… just a little more… _I'm mentally sticking my tongue out here in concentration.

_Mwah-ha-ha-ha-__**SLAM!**_

"Well don't just sit there!" I spew frantically, after trapping Sakura in my _wardrobe-prison-no-justu(!)_, and using what little strength I possess to keep it that way, "Help me keep the doors shut!"

TenTen good-naturedly grabs the chair at my desk and props it under the handles on the doors.

Sighing, I flop onto the floor near Hinata's feet. We watch as the wardrobe starts to rattle from side to side precariously. Sakura certainly wasn't kidding when she said she had her moments… My bedroom door has a massive crater in it, but thankfully, no added portholes. Nor did it get knocked off its hinges. Hinata had the sense to turn the door handle before she kicked it in, thank Kami. I could just image the lecture Anko would give me if I asked for a new door. Not that I'd have much bother finding a replacement in the janitors DIY-store-slash-abode. Still, I wouldn't favour a lecture, and it's not as if I could be inconspicuous carrying a door round the place…

"W-w-why is Sakura i-i-in y-y-your w-wardrobe?"

"Hina-chan, do you want her to go psycho-killer on Deidara's arse-however much I'd love to see _that-_" I mumble cruelly, "-and end up having to visit her in prison?" I ask in a defeated voice.

"N-n-n-no?" _You don't sound all that sure Hinata… _

"Why didn't you lock her in the bathroom?" TenTen muses.

"I have sharp things in there, homicidal people and sharp things don't tend to mix. Plus the locks on the inside."

"But she could just wreck your clothes…"

"Better than going ape-shit with a toothbrush…"

"Touché." She shrugs, right side of her lips curling up in smirk.

A few moments of quiet and the odd screech from Sakura pass, before TenTen finally speaks up again:

"How did you know how to deal with her?" She asks, wide eyed.

I rub a hand over my face, "I didn't…"

TenTen's mouth forms a little 'o' shape before things turn depressingly silent. Well, bar Sakura slamming against her practical-prison. _That chair doesn't look like it'll hold for much longer…_

"A-a-ano…?"

"Yes Hina-chan?"

"W-w-w-what are you g-g-going to d-do about Deidara-san?" and she winces as I growl at Barbie doll's name.

I almost forgot about the she-male… Having a pink haired teen throw a fit in your bedroom tends to do that to you. Just think about it this way though, if I hadn't locked her up in the wardrobe, she probably would have hung Deidara with his Barbie doll hair, or maybe even worse. And then I'd end up going to visit her while she serves a sentence for grievous bodily harm all because he peeped on me, which was _technically _my fault because I failed to close my blind, but that's going into the small details, and once a pervert, always a pervert I guess… still, I'm going to create a shrine to anything blind or curtain related and thank the fabric gods for such a wonderful creation.

Lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice, no sir-ee, no…

_I wonder if he's actually still stood there, I mean, it's only been about five minute's since _it _happened… _

I share a look with TenTen, grabbing my wallet off of the obnoxious looking desk and slipping a credit card into my palm while TenTen stealthily wanders over to my window and rolls up the blind slowly. We wait with baited breath for the result… and stare in awe at _his _window. The blind is down again. The damn she-male turned-tail and ran. What a nerve…

Pinching one corner of the credit card between my index finger and thumb, I grin sadistically, imagining slicing of his hair in jagged little lumps with such an insignificant piece of plastic.

Hinata and TenTen look at me, confused when I laugh quietly to myself.

_Just you wait, Deidara… this mean war…_

* * *

Sakura, surprisingly, wasn't all that bothered about being locked up into my wardrobe. Mostly due to the fact that while she was in there, she'd snooped through my clothes, found a top that she liked and that I didn't ('_Mother-Dearest'_ had bought it from a no-expense-spared department store, and wouldn't allow me to wander off on my own until I picked something out. I played eanie-meanie-miny-mo and my finger had pointed at it, just to escape. I hadn't even worn the thing; the labels were still on…) so I gave it to her as compensation for the man-handling. She seemed disgusted by my lack of feminine clothing – I vaguely remember owning a skirt once, but that was when I was tiny- and to seal the deal of forgiveness, I promised to let her take me shopping. My eye was twitching as I pinky swore.

And what about Deidara no Iwa? I don't know, I kept my blind firmly shut.

Truthfully, I wasn't expecting to get a wink of sleep- instead I thought myself to be stressing over the earlier events, tossing and turning and most likely getting tangled in the sheets, but to my utter surprise (or maybe just being dog-tired and shell-shocked) I slept reasonably well. The only problem was that over the past week when I was getting settled into the dorms, I cracked my window open just the slightest; the migrating summer heat still worked its way into the room, even though September was in partial swing now, and my room felt sticky whenever I walked in. But seeing as I was now a paranoid blind freak, and possibly a Hikikomori **[3] **convert, I kept my window and blind on lock-down, so by the time I was ready to fall asleep, I was sweating buckets.

School the next morning however would be an entirely different kettle of fish; I felt a sick kind of anticipation- one that ranged between mortification at being caught topless in front of a hormonal adolescent, and also the burning desire for revenge. I had in fact slipped a trusted library card into the top blazer pocket, where it rested against my heart, lovingly. Yes, a library card, not my ultimate weapon- the credit card, because if I somehow lost that during school hours? Good bye allowance and savings~! Seeing as my parents were probably too busy bathing in money to arrange a replacement, and that I was wrapped up in planning guerrilla warfare against a certain Barbie doll, I'd rather not take my chances, so the library card it was… I could still wield it viciously, so what did it matter? Plus I'd gotten into the nasty habit of chewing on one of the corners while queuing to have my books checked out and stamped; having to actually snip the curve off because it had become so mangled. It had left a nice bladed edge for me to maim with. I could just view the surprise in _Deidei's_ (pet names are fantastic ammunition, you know?) one visible eye as I slit his cheek with it… the blood pooling round his shocked lips and spattering onto the floor as he begged for mercy.

Maybe I was getting too in-depth with this whole 'revenge' thing, because skipping in to Form this morning and deflating because the target in question wasn't even there, would have probably set alarm bells ringing in any normal person's head.

Thinking about it though, the two other A-cat-sue-key members weren't there either.

_Strange…_

Although I felt a little disappointed, my spirits perked at the thought of a Deidara free day. I hadn't cropped up in any of his classes yesterday, so maybe I'd strike lucky again.

And if I didn't?

Well he wouldn't be in, would he?

After Form, with a slightly caffeine deprived and tired looking Kakashi that wouldn't so much as acknowledge you let alone take a register of present students (CURSE THAT STUPID LITTLE BOOK!), my first lesson of the day was Maths.

Let's get one thing straight; I hate maths. I loathe it with a passion. All of the number and… thingies that you're _supposed _to do with numbers just don't sit right with my brain. I'm not exactly failing maths, but I'd never be a straight-A candidate in that particular subject. The teacher seemed to notice this too, when I got called on for an answer and I started back dumbly for two minutes.

I didn't get picked on again after that…

Second period was Physics, and I know what you're thinking, _'physics has a load of mathematical technicalities' _… Well, kudos to you! Have a gold star!

Weirdly enough, I actually _like _physics. There's something about it. I may be shite at maths, but -_hey! _I can calculate the Moment **[4] **of an object easily. Messed up right?

After a fifteen minute break, came the third and fourth lessons of the day: double English.

Dichotomous to my Mathematical skills, I revel in the fact that (and I hate to blow my own trumpet, so to speak…) I excel in English. It's one of the subjects I feel at home in the most, even if I did have Kakashi-sensei as a teacher. Yes, the pervy-orange-book-reading –caffeine-deprived-teacher taught English. When you say 'English teacher' I imagine someone who enjoys reading a wide range of texts, is maybe slightly off their rocker and either has a fetish for weapons or cats **[5] **You _do not_ expect a teacher like Kakashi. Sure, give him credit where it's due, he's not a bad teacher. I endured through worse at my old school- _a lot worse! _But simply scratching a task onto the whiteboard in a dying dry-wipe marker that was faintly visible to the human eye, before plonking yourself into a chair and propping up your feet on the nearest desk whilst reading an unsuitable novel in front of your students, _wasn't the best_ decorum for a teacher.

By the end of the first hour of English I'd finished the task at hand, as had Hinata who was sat next to me. We chatted amongst ourselves for the remainder of the double lessons.

Lunch; and today we were joined by some more of our little group's friends:

A lethargic looking male who introduced himself as Shikamaru Nara picked a seat next to Choji and instead of eating his plastic packed sandwiches splayed out in front of him, used them as a pillow, uttering a quiet 'troublesome' when Choji slipped them it from under his chin and his cheek fell full-contact onto the table below.

A silent, observing dark haired boy, who had tied the tips of his shirt in a knot above his midriff smiled in a platonic manner and called himself 'Sai', shook my hand limply, clutching at his sketchbook before announcing he'd call me 'Ginge' for the rest of the year. I have to admit, it was better than the nickname he gave Naruto, who choked on his ramen at the mention of 'Dickless'.

I was happily munching on a piece of cafeteria bought pizza though, when I heard _it. _

_"OH-MY-KAMI~! HE'S SOOO HAWWWT~!" Woah, gag~! … and I was enjoying that pizza too…_

Sakura stiffens at the outcry.

Hinata flinches.

TenTen sighs, along with Choji and Shikamaru.

Shino and Sai remain impassive.

Kiba has lost his trade mark wolfish grin, as Akamaru whines under the table in a pained snarl.

Heck, Naruto's _actually _picking at his ramen for Kami's sake!

_"OH-MY-KAMI~" _the voice squeals again, I can feel my eye twitching. Felling a bit queasy, I push the remaining bits of pizza slice away from me. "_INO! HE'S LOOKING THIS WAY!" _

_"I KNOW KARIN! HE'S LOOKING AT ME OBVIOUSLY!" _

_Oh__** fuck…**_

Sakura is gripping the table now, and I think everyone slides their chair back by about two feet as it shudders violently.

"_NO WAY INO! HE'S MINE! SASUKE-KUN WAS LOOKING AT ME!" _ Oh, so that must be Karin… I spy a flaming red head with glasses and a lean blonde next to her-WAIT! _'Sasuke'?!_

_Well I never…_

Across the room, on a lonely island of a table skirting due west of the squabbling fan girls sits a person I have not encountered for many, many years. And he's looking right over here… _at Hinata_.

_Well colour me ingenious, I think I found out the reason why Sakura's pissy at the moment and why Hinata gets bullied…_

I scowl at the dark haired boy (his hair is still the duck-butt shape it always was) thinking about how much pain his arrogance and demeaning nature has taken a toll on such a sweet natured child. Said girl is blushing traffic light red and shaking like a leaf, having TenTen rubbing her arm supportively as Sakura tries not to flip out.

He's changed so much from how I remember, how he _used _to be; that sweet naïve boy that would beg steal or borrow for the tomato's my Mother used to grow in her green house, the boy who would blush profusely in a similar shade to his desired snack at so much as a compliment, who shared so many summer days with me chasing his brother and I in shifts round the local park or the acres of land behind the Uchiha estate.

_Where had that all gone?_

My chair is a vivid scream as I scrape it back from the table and stalk towards him.

He seems a bit surprised, but covers it well in those onyx eyes:

"You?"

"Me."

"Hn."

"Nice to see you too, Sasuke. It's been a long time."

"Hn."

"That's it? No _'my gosh I've missed you Akiko'_ or a reunion hug?" I smirk.

"Hn."

"Do you know _her, _Sasuke-kun?" the blonde, who I presume is Ino, seeing as the red-head must be Karin.

"H-"

"-Oh! Me and Sasuke go _way back_, don't we? Why don't you tell them how we met, Sasuke-_kun_" I make sure to lather on the honorific, smirk widening in triumph as his brooding eyes narrow in irritation.

"IS THIS TRUE SASUKE-KUN?!" Karin shrieks, hands curling into 'bitch fists'. _If she tries anything, I think my library card and a sharp encounter with my foot and the floor will ascertain things~! _

Both she and Ino are tensing for a fight, and I _know_, I just _know_ the amount of crap I'm going to get off them in the future. Kami knows what they've put Hinata and Sakura through already…

"I believe we need to 'talk', Akiko-_chan_, as you say, it has been many years."

"Uh-huh. Sure, let me just check my very busy diary… _Hnnnn_…" I start when he grabs my wrist and drags me outside, "Let me go you 'effin tomato loving-barstool!"

"Great to see your vocabulary is still ever-creative"

"Hn." (Translation: Bite me.)

"Hn." (Translation: No, tar.)

"…?" _did he just…?_

Sasuke clears his throat, and we just stand there awkwardly.

"What are you even doing here Akiko?" he asks quietly.

"Ah… Best take that up with my parents and the lottery win, although it is kinda my fault seeing as I picked the number and all…"

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Fine by me, Sasu, fine by me."

"Don't call me that."

"Don't give me the famous 'Uchiha glare' then, you know the only people to scare the crappers out of me with it were Fugaku-Oji-san and Ita-"

"_Do not say his name_!" Sasuke snarls, and I wince. He still has a grip on my wrist and _boy_ he grips tightly…

We stand there quietly, him gripping my arm…

Me… wincing a little… Okay, _a lot_…

Me… thinking of days gone-by…

Sasuke… still not letting go.

"What happened to you, Sasuke? Where did that little boy who played harmlessly in the sand-pit go?"

"I grew up." He spits back bitterly.

"And what of Hinata? Will you be dragging her into… _this?_" I gesture back towards the cafeteria where Ino and Karin have their noses pressed against the window, he flinches, a slight colour clouding his pale cheeks, resignation pooling in his eyes. Boy, he's got it bad…

"… I know I'll only end up hurting her- but wait! How do you even _know _about that_?!_"

"Then put measure in place to stop that! If you like her _persevere_! And never underestimate woman Sasu~!"

"But those girls-"

"Do something about them!"

"But I ca-"

"If you say 'I can't' then give up, Sasuke. She deserves better."

His eyes widen, and his grip on me slackens drastically.

Rubbing my wrist, I sigh as I walk away. The stricken Uchiha doesn't follow suit.

* * *

When the bell for fifth period rings, my shoulders feel less burdened and releasing a sigh, I make my way to Biology. I feel dog tired. Childhood memories tend to have that effect, especially when the kid you used to know turned out to be an ass-hat was falling for one of your new found close friends.

I felt for the boy, I really did, it wasn't his fault he was born beautiful… I should say 'handsome' really, but facing it, most of the Uchiha lineages were works of art. I mean, just take a look at Sasuke's older brother; he had the brains and the looks, which was totally not fair, and he was only a year older than me **[6]**. Surprisingly though, when they were younger the brothers weren't up-themselves at all; but I'm guessing that was Mikoto-Oba-sans influence, seeing as Fugaku-Oji-san strived for perfection and strict discipline. Mikoto-Oba-san was a sweet-natured woman, but a stern mother when it was needed. I vaguely remember getting a tongue lashing when we were visiting them because of some scheme Sasuke had concocted. Naturally, his older brother and I had tried to lift the blame off of him, seeing as Fugaku-Oji-san was slowly rolling his newspaper into a baton, but instead of getting a smacked backside, Mikoto-Oba-san lectured us, made us wash the dinner dishes and then fed us cookies afterwards for showing bonds of loyalty.

Needless to say, that woman was awesome.

I just don't know what went wrong with her two sons.

I got put on the back row in Biology on a two person desk. I suppose this was for when we did practical work, seeing as everyone else had a lab partner. _Why was it set out in boy-girl parings though? Ah… the teacher must have ulterior motives… now I feel a little weird sitting here…_

"Good afternoon class!" the teacher began, his sprawling white hair tied loosely in a mullet style pony tail, "Some of you already know me-" Insert groans from the class, "-but for those of you who don't-" he's looking at me now, "-my name is Jiraiya-sensei-"

"Ero-sensei!" _wait, I know that hyper-active voice?! Naruto's in this class?_

"Naruto, it's improper to call me that!"

"Whatever, pervy-teacher…"

"A-hem, as I was saying…Welcome to biology. Now this year we'll be-"

The classroom door slides open, and in steps a late arrival.

"Sorry I'm late. I had business to attend to."

"Ah… that's fine, Zetsu-kun, please take a seat at the back." _Huh… the only seat left is… next to me…_

Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as he sits down, assessing him: the green hair is a bit of a shocker, it contrasts with his extremely pale skin- it looks like he's wearing white face powder, but seeing as his hands are the same shade, it must be somewhat… natural? Two large looped rings pierce both of his earlobes, the right one is black, the left one white. And his eyes… the oddest shimmer of gold. **[7]**

"H-hello?" I smile weekly.

"Hello." He says back simply.

"Now, as I was saying, to start of this terms module, we will be learning about the reproductive system, first of all I'd like you to fill in the sheet that's being handed out now," Jiraiya shoves a pile of papers in front of Naruto, who grumbles before passing them round, "and then we're going to be watching a _very educational _video~!"

_Is it just me or does he seem too excited? _

Zetsu and I work in silence on our sheets, and when the whole class is done, Jiraiya dims the lights and starts the… 'video'.

_OH MY KAMI MY VIRGIN EYES! _

The blood drains from my face as I clamp my hands over my face, but that does nothing to stop the awful _noises_ filling my ears. I hear Zetsu grunt and flinch when two large hands shelter my auricles. Moving my hands to reveal my lips and turning to him slightly, I mouth a 'thanks', grateful for the segregation between me and that _educational video._

I feel slightly sorry for him when it's over; his pallor's a shade lighter, if that's even possible. I'm about to say my thanks again, but the bell rings and he's out of the door before I can speak.

Naruto bounces in place waiting for me as I gather my stuff;

"What is it, Naru-kun?"

"You have Zetsu of the Akatsuki sat next to you…" oh, so I guess that my alleged A-cat-sue-key free day was a lie then If one of them is sitting next to me on Biology. I don't know why Naru-kun is so freaked out about it though. He hadn't bitten me… yet.

"A-cat-sue-key? Again?"

"Yeah, dattebayo!"

"He didn't seem that bad, though- covered my ears through that freaky video…"

"Really?"

"Uh-huh…"

"Just…" Naruto collects himself, "Just don't get involved with them Akiko-chan… They're bad news. All of them no matter how nice they are to you."

And with that, I find myself gravitating to my last lesson of the day. There's a spring in my step, I hadn't seen hide-nor-hair of Deidara no Iwa for just over five hours, there had been no pointless fighting with Ino and Karin, heck even Duck-butt was nowhere to be seen.

So with that, I'm practically floating to period six: Art with Kurenai Yuhi.

Until I spot a familiar blonde and his red-headed companion.

_Oh, fuck… why does this feel like deja vu?_

"Oh it's _you, _yeah." Is the welcome I get as I sit down in the only seat available… right next to them.

"Brat, where are your manners?"

"Fucking bitch doesn't deserve my manners, yeah! She insulted me first!"

"Yeah?! Well you practically traumatised me las-"

"It was your own fault, yeah!"

"What was her own fault, brat?" Sasori wonders, watching as Deidara's face floods red in remembrance. I can feel the heat rising in my own visage, so hastily fumble through my bag for my pencil case and drawing supplies.

"N-nothing, un." Sasori raises an eyebrow, but decidedly leaves it be. Thank Kami he's sat in between Barbie and I otherwise I would have took a swipe at him with my library card already.

_Be calm Akiko, breathe in, breathe out, and breathe in-_

"Where is Yuhi-sensei, I hate to be kept waiting…" mutters the red head.

"Don't worry, Sasori-no-danna, I'm sure she'll be here soon, un." Soothes Deidara.

_'Danna'? Figures Deidei would be the uke~!_** [8]** I have to smother my giggles with my hand and a coughing fit. Sasori and Deidara look at me strangely, which only makes me laugh even more.

_This is going to be a long sixty minutes… _

* * *

When I get back to the dorms, I slip off my shoes at the entrance.

**_Thwack!_**

"Ack-!" I clutch my face, glaring at Anko who's just thrown her TV remote at me, "What the hell?!"

"Don't talk back to me that way! And give me my remote!"

"I wouldn't have to if you hadn't _thrown_ it at me!"

"Well _I_ wouldn't have to have thrown it at you if there wasn't a giant dent in your room's door!" I gulp. _Whoopsies, she found out…_

Anko carries on sourly, "I suggest you find Izumo or Kotetsu to call in the janitor while he's on holiday, he'll probably have some kind of filler and Izumo or Kotetsu can open up his store room for you."

"Right…"

"Chop-chop then! I want it fixed by the end of the week!" I stare at her, slinging my shoes back on, grumbling under my breath about 'dango-shovelling-couch-potatoes' that 'can't-even-run-a-dorm-properly'.

"I heard that missy!" so I high-tail it out of there before the TV control can connect with my personnel again. I literally make it three metres from the hideous front door when I'm stopped:

"I think we need to talk, un." _Oh, fantastic…_

"There is nothing _to talk about!" _ I hiss through gritted teeth.

"I think there is though, yeah, seeing as you gave me a free show last night."

"No I did nothing of the sort! How was I supposed to know you lived across from me?! The blinds were shut constantly!"

"Still didn't stop you from stripping off-"

"That was an accident! I was careless!"

"Yeah, un. Sure. So where did that mark come from then?"

I can feel the blush pooling on my cheeks, "I-it was from the seatbelt in the taxi that brought me here!"

"Somehow, un" he moves forwards, grasping my arm, face opposite and too close to mine, "I don't believe you…"

His hair is tickling my nose. _Why is it so soft? Don't tell me Barbie uses Pantene? _

I realise now that putting my library card in the top pocket of my blazer was a bad mistake. I can't reach for it, and he's way too close, and his hair is making me want to sneeze, and why is he moving closer? Why is that hand moving there? Oh crappers_, get off of me_!

_Oh, Kami help me! Send someone! Anyone! I'm desperate!_

"I think, Deidara, it would be best if you backed off." A sombre male voice beckons.

Deidara stops, a pulls back, frowning slightly. I release a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"It's _you, _yeah…since when have I followed anything you said?" Deidara bites.

"Seeing as I asked politely, and your… _acquaintance _ there seems a little worse for wear, I think you should just leave her be." Two slight hands pat the tops of my shoulder; I watch the pale digits curl around my frame possessively from the corners of my eyes, and wondering who the hell it is talking. I'm honestly too sacred to turn around…

"Tch…" Barbie smirks, but stalks away nevertheless, back to his dorm.

I sigh again, feeling my shoulders shudder. The mysterious saviour releases me and I spin into a deep bow of gratification;

"Thank you so much for helping me out there- I don't know what I would have done- and I don't want to get kicked out of here for going ape-shit and kicking his backside to Timbuktu-"

I'm nearly knocked off my feet when he _chuckles_. The hair on the back of my neck rises; it's an ethereal sounding laugh, so unreal that it tinkles in the air like bells. I just want to curl up in foetal position and cry at this rare timbre.

"I think you need not apologise, Akiko, it is, after all what friends do. Helping each other out, that is." I narrow my eyes a little_. How does he know my name?_ "You've changed so much since we were younger, Aki. It's nice to see you again…" he continues softly.

Faint recognition zips through me: the dark flowing locks of midnight, onyx eyes so much like his brethren but so reserved. Never cold though, never cold…despite their dull complexity. Cool skin, deathly pale. Inexplicable attraction to all things sweet.

Just as I remembered.

"Nice to see you too…" my throat clogs with unknown emotion, " Itachi."

* * *

**[1] How I laughed writing this~!**

**[2] Oxymoron's!**

**[3] Socially withdrawn, a 'shut in'.**

**[4] Moment = Force X Distance (See, I did retain things from GCSE Physics. Just don't bother me with Mathematical stuff…) **

**[5] Just some of the English Teachers I know and were taught by…**

**[6] In this FanFic he is, anyway. It's easier for me to write my plot if he is~! **

**[7] I didn't want to change Zetsu's appearance that much, but having half black and white skin… is odd in the world I'm creating. So I opted for the ear rings to symbolize his two personas. **

**[8] I'm not a massive fan of yaoi, but terminology in this case makes for great insults!**

**_Oh-ho!_**** So Itachi makes an appearance now~! Let me know what you think dudes and dudettes~! I was up until 3am this morning finishing the draft, and just spent the last two hours picking away at it, so if there are mistakes and what-not, blame my eyes for being tired. Even with the errors, I hope this chapter is... satisfactory? **

**"Oba-san", roughly means "Auntie", I guess, whereas on the flip side, "Oji-san" would be "Uncle".**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Take a look around" – Limp Bizkit

"Safety dance" – Men without hats (Because Akiko is _Oh-so_ safe with a library card...)

"BarBarBar" – Crayon Pop

"That XX" – G-Dragon (for the moment when Aki and Sasu have a _'heart-to-heart'_ over Hinata)

"Can't pretend" – Tom Odell (For the _'Oh-shite its Itachi!'_ moment)


	4. Chapter 3:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter Three: Butterflies...~_

* * *

It's odd how people change yet… remain… exactly as you last remember them.

I've had friends I've known since I was roughly elven when I started at my old high school, and over the four years that passed, we've grown from knee high brats to semi-tall adolescents; managing to squeeze in the traumatic tribulations of puberty, academic pressure and the desire to be _yourself_. Through the forests of children milling through corridors and classrooms, friendships, pathways and progress is woven much like a tapestry of sorts. It's funny though, how loose ends thought to be cut year's prior tangle up in your work at a later date.

The last time I saw Itachi was when I was eight years of age. Oddly, eight years later, he's the spit of how he was back then. Well, not exactly, because otherwise he'd be a four-foot midget with a sugar complex; at least give him some credit towards a growth spurt and learning some self-restraint in the hiatus of our friendship.

But still, the pale skin, silken hair and wide doe like-quality eyes _(in the manliest of doe-like eyes sense, of course, seeing as 'Tachi was no naïve princess as a kid…)_ remain. His face seems marred by lines of fatigue, curling under his eyes as a solid reminder of maturity, but somehow… it just adds to the 'Itachi' effect that glowed around his being as a child. The Uchiha were always insanely gifted; intellectually, physically and aesthetically, and Itachi was no exception to his heritage. The boy, or rather, young man now, seeing as he was nearing seventeen by now, was just an Uchiha in that sagacity, but Itachi in another -he was surprisingly singular and special- _ta-dah, Itachi effect: Translated into; 'I'm an Uchiha to the max, so much so that not even my brethren can compare to me'._ Heck, he should be hung up in the National Gallery **[1] **for Christ sakes with all the other priceless works of art.

_Don't start with me please, I'm reuniting with a long lost friend and can't think straight- and hey! Who gave Itachi permission to become so hot- wait?! What am I thinking? That's just plain- no I'm not even gonna-_

"Akiko?" I'm snapped back to reality by a hand waving in front of my eyes, "Oh, you're back…"

"Sorry about that…"

"I never pegged you for a space cadet." Itachi says dryly, a smirk coyly creeping on his lips. _He has such a pretty face (- uh, a manly pretty face! Of course! He's not like Barbie doll! )… more so now, maybe. He's got higher cheekbones than me, and I _swear _if he smiles and has _**dimples** _I may go on a rampage-_

"Nice to see the Uchiha still aspire to attain a sense of humour"

He chuckles, the eerie sound raising goose bumps on my arms. It's that foreign you can't even think straight. It's unnerving. I can't even begin to describe it; Uchiha _don't _laugh, well Mikoto-Oba-san was an exception, but she was too awesome to follow tradition- but Fugaku-Oji-san would have certainly wiped out comedy from their lives had she not been there to raise the boys.

_He was an arse like that. A very scary arse. With a scary glare. That scared the crappers out of me- have I mentioned that before at all?-_

"Akiko? _A-ki-ko_? Hello?"

"Sorry, spaced out again…" I blush, rubbing the back of my neck gingerly.

"It's okay; I was just going to… _inquire_, as to what Deidara was doing earlier?" _Crappers!_

"…It's… a long story." I'm just going to try and evade this, something tells me 'Tachi and the Barbie doll aren't the _bestest_** [2]** of friends right now, so why add oil to an open flame?

"Well it's a good thing I have plenty of time then, isn't it." _Fuck Itachi! Take a hint you dense buffoon!_

"Unfortunately though, I don't. I have to go and catch Izumo and Kotetsu before they lock up for the day and Anko rings my neck…" _nice save Aki!_

"I… see. Another time then?"

"Sure."

_Phew…_ Of course, this means that I'll have to spill the beans and all the other black-mail worthy details later on, but it's better than: _"Hey I've not seen you in eight years!", "Yeah? Nice to see you again, I've just flashed someone you seem to know accidentally!" (Cue thumbs up and cheesy smile…)_

I'm surprised; not only does he buy such a lame excuse _(you don't think he's leaking IQ points, do you? Or is he just placating me for now? Intelligent little so-and-so's probably biding his time…) _But as I'm about to make my move towards the front of house, he pulls me into a loose embrace and plants a chaste peck on my forehead. The motion is so soft; it matches a butterfly wing tips caress.

_Don't hyperventilate; it's an _obviously _friendly gesture! Don't even think about releasing the library card of Doom Mikoto-Oba-san will skin you alive if you scar his face!_

Mikoto-Oba-san's wrath is no joke, so I'm just going to stand here and take his affection like a man- I mean woman!

_Damn Barbie's got me gender-bent!_

He's probably only using the big-brother act again anyway, although I can't imagine many big brothers openly pecking their Imouto **[3] **often…

"You've grown so much Akiko. I can't believe it's been eight years." Yep, he's playing the 'Nii-chan' card **[4]**. _You can calm down now heartbeat, he's not going to rape me… at least I think he isn't going to… is he? Nah-_

"I know, you have too…" _yeah, you're nearly a fully grown man now, 'Tachi. And if you aren't already, one day you'll be a heart breaker with those dashing good looks of yours… _**[5] **He lets me go, "See'ya round, 'Tachi!" I wave jerkily, still a little shocked. I'm sure I've flushed a nice shade of scarlet…

"Hn."

People do remain as you last remember them, they truly do.

But eight years is a long time lapse.

And ultimately, despite how you once viewed them and however long you prevail to restore them as they once were, changes are permanent and memories will fade and become muddled with how you fantasise and how reality views the said person of the past now. 'Tachi was always the Nii-chan figure to me, and the fiercest of friends; but… I can't expect him to be that way forever. And I'm not 'gonna lie, I'll miss that quality. People change, we grown and experience- some things from the past remain, others are culled. Still, he didn't seem that different. A little too quiet for my tastes but he never exactly was the life and soul of the party to begin with. That was more of Sasuke's domain.

_At least he seems somewhat happy…_

Little do I know as I waddle off to prevent Anko from flipping out anytime soon, two sullen eyes burn slightly into my back as my retreating form steps farther and farther away from the lonely island that is Itachi Uchiha.

How ignorant could I have been?

* * *

**[1] The National Gallery in London. I don't know where the heck my story is set. I just chose an art gallery, don't shoot me!**

**[2] Is that even a word? I don't even know. Heck it's colloquial, who gives a shite?**

**[3] "Little sister."**

**[4] The justification for anything because you're like a big brother to the said person ****_-cough-Akiko-cough-_**** (it's a bull shit theory that I'm probably fabricating on the spot, but if I'm not and you're reading this and this **_has_** happened to you, let me know and I'll… well actually, I don't know what I'll do. (Probably laugh like a maniac))**

**[5] Sounds somewhat ominous, ne?**

**So this is definitely shorter than my usual chapters, but instead of writing one long… thingie, I felt like this deserved a little chappie of its own, rather than just being a prologue to another encounter of the Akiko-Randomness-kind, because it seems so sensitive. Everything would be discombobulated if I stuck it in front of some random follow up.**

**Plus, I feel a little mean; I left you with not only a juicy cliff hanger, but the prospect of me not updating for a while (I've got mock exams **

**｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡Yes I'm bricking it right now they start on Monday…) **

**Somehow this seems like the prelude to things kicking off. Hello to you, new plot point by the name of "shit-fan-far-and-wide"…**

**Does anyone stop to read these comments?**

**…Was that rhetorical just then?**

**Oh! Thank you to CeresMaria, MariiKo, Shiroi Ichigo-chan, and Soltra8 for their reviews, plus anyone who stopped to read – let alone favourite or follow Break a leg~!**

**It means a lot, it really does…**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Riptide" – Vance Joy


	5. Chapter 4:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter Four: Ties, Surfers and pudding...~_

* * *

Lady Luck is a sadistic bitch.

The worst thing is, she _knows_ it.

I mean seriously, when am I ever going to catch a break at Ton Ton academy? Heck, when am I going to catch a break at all after that stupid lottery win?

At the moment, it seems I'm not in Lady Luck's 'good book' (Hey that sort of rhymed!), seeing as my past is popping up like daisies and I've already managed to severely embarrass myself.

But, I guess it could be much worse, right?

* * *

I'd made it to the front of house, after chancing to take the shortcut Izumo strictly chided not to take, and paid the price; I slipped severely on _grass_ and put a nice ladder in my tights.

As if it wasn't humiliating enough to have a green skid mark on my exposed leg, I also had little tufts of shaven turf that had decided to stick in the places I couldn't reach when I spectacularly arm-and-leg-cartwheeled to my demise on _dry_ grass. You heard me right. _Dry grass_.

I'm a in a whole different league of _special _than those people that can fall 'up' the stairs, I truly am…

Thankfully, I managed to make it to the front of house before the gravel pathway grabbed me by the ankles and swung me in a circle like a challenged astronaut…

…And then I almost wished it had:

"You know how bad I am with knots Izumo!"

"You're the one who told me to tie it tight; you get yourself out of your own mess, Kotetsu"

"You are such a supportive friend, you know that?"

"Wouldn't have me any other way huh?"

"But it's so tight!"

_Have I just discovered the exclusive dream of all Yaoi fans?-_

-"I'm gonna have to cut you free!" Izumo grumbles, brandishing some scissors as I stand slack jawed in the doorway, watching as Kotetsu wiggles, bound to his spinny-chair with a magenta coloured tie.

"But that's my best tie! My mum got me that for Christmas!" Kotetsu whines, pouting. (_Seriously? He's a grown man…_)

I cough.

Both of them jump guiltily at the sound; Izumo fumbling with his scissors as the chair falls out from Kotetsu, much like the first time I met him, and he ends up on the floor with few papers that he caught on his descent to the hard-wearing lino.

"H-h-hi! Akiko-chan!..." Kotetsu titters nervously.

"This isn't what it looks like- honestly!" Izumo finishes, waving his scissors in the air like a threat.

"Yeah… somehow me walking in to what looks like clandestine bondage in an office is definitely not what it seems…" I mutter, tapping my chin. Izumo distracts himself with helping Kotetsu up off of the floor and cutting him free as they blush heavily from my comment.

"No, honestly, Izumo is right; it isn't what it looks like." I raise my eyebrows, "We went to see a movie they were screening in the theatre the other night, and there was one scene were the guy gets tied to a chair." **[1]**

"Yeah, clever clogs over here thought he could pull a Houdini, but instead pulled the knot tight instead of undoing it. He's been stuck there for an hour now…"

"I can't feel my wrists you sadistic arsehole!" Kotetsu cries. _Literally._

"Wait! You've been tied up for an hour!" I exclaim.

"…Uh… yeah?" he sniffs.

I'm not sure whether I'm disgusted with his lack of escapism or his futile perseverance more, so I decide not to say anything and observe him rubbing his wrists while simultaneously mourning the clumps of material that was once wrapped round his neck.

"Anyway, what are you here for Akiko-chan?"

"Ah… Sakura punched my door and left a huge dent-" both men look horrified, "-and Anko flipped a shit over it. Do you think you could contact the Janitor at all? I have no idea how I'm 'gonna fix it…"

"I told you Izumo, the girl's a monster… punching a door so that it dents…. Bloody hell!"

Izumo smirks at his colleague, then turns to me; "He's on vacation at the moment, so I don't know whether I'll be able to get through to him, and I don't think it's fair to contact him on his deserved holiday, ne?" I nod, but deep inside, I was wondering why he was resting up now, rather than across the summer holidays-

"I mean, he spent the last six or seven weeks patching up the dents in the walls in the school and your dorm…"

_What the actual fuck Sakura?!_

So again, I'm shown the way to 'Janitors-R-Us', and left to find the solution myself; which is extremely supportive of the two adults seeing as I have never in my life patched up a door before. What the hell am I supposed to fill it with? Where the hell am I going to find it in this place? I mean, it looks like a Bob the Builder© **[2] **compilation in there…

"Hey there!"

I squeal as a voice shoots out of the darkness. _I knew I should have tried to find a light switch!_

"H-h-hello?" I stutter back, squinting, and a hearty chuckle reverberates through the air in reply.

The light flicks on, and I'm met with the _oddest _sight…

A blue man.

_I kid you not…_

"So, what brings you to the Janitors closet?" _'Closet'_ it's a small hardware store mate!

"Uh…" _great, I think my fight with the grass has left me incompetent. _"-Uh, my friend punched my door and it left a dent- and Anko flipped a shit-and I need to fill it _andhowdoIdothatI_hate_DIY-_"

The blue man walks past me and pats me on the head. "Slow down gaki **[3] **I'm not 'gonna bite you!" He says flashing a smile and a set of razor like teeth.

_Not going to bite me my arse-_

"To fill a dent huh…?" he rubs his chin in a scrubbing motion, and I get the odd intonation that the blue will rub off too. Is it really blue dye on his skin? It can't be natural…. Can it?

He grabs a small rectangular tray and what looks like a credit card (My eyes sparkle at this) along with a brown tube of _tanning lotion?_

"Ah, here we go!" and he hands me the strange ensemble, "Don't let that packaging fool you, it's full of wood filler. That was the only container available when the wood filler's packaging split."

For what seems like the umpteenth time today, I nod.

"Do you know how to use it?" I shake my head and he sighs, "Okay, squeeze a small spot of the filler into the tray and apply it with the spatula. Then level it out when the gap is filled, right?" **[4]**

"That sounds so simple…"

"Because it is?" He raises and eyebrow. _Whoah! They're blue too~! _"Leave it to dry overnight and come and see me again tomorrow; I'll find some sandpaper and paint to touch it up with."

"Thank you… uh?"

"Kisame. Kisame Hoshigaki. I'm in the sixth form"

"Akiko Kobayashi. Nice to meet you!"

* * *

True to his word, it was simple.

The dent Sakura had made however sucked the container ¾ empty though. It must have been a deeper cavity than I thought…

I'd just finished patching up the gap and placed a 'Caution: Wet filler' (Now, now, you lewd people, calm yourselves~!) sign on the door, and was currently washing the tray and spatula in my bathroom sink when I heard the most Kami awful catastrophe:

Rushing out of the tiny en-suit, I find my door off of its hinges, Sakura sprawled on the floor with Ten Ten, Hinata, Ino and Karin shouting in the doorway behind her.

I died inside as my hard-work and most successful attempt at DIY lay on the floor in a head like a wounded soldier.

"WHAT THE HELL GUYS?! I JUST FINSHED PATCHING THAT UP!"

Then the on slough turns on me:

_"HOW DO YOU KNOW SASUKE-KUN?!"_ (Sakura, Karin, Ino, and Hinata)

_"Can you get off of me?!"_ (Sakura snarling as Ino steps on her back in an attempt to lunge for my throat…)

_"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!_" (Anko screeching from the couch down stairs trying to watch her dramas…)

_"I think you need a new door Aki!"_ (TenTen peeing herself with laughter at the _hilarity…_)

"Ladies, ladies, can we please get off of my door please? I will explain if you can organise and calm yourselves" I say pinching the bridge of my nose.

They arrange themselves in a row on my bed. Ino and Karin making themselves _very _at home and crossing their legs – _Ack! Kami! Why do people feel the need to wear short and tight skirts if they're going to go and do that?_ I didn't really want to be flashed, but I'll let them off seeing as I'm a flasher too. _Ex- _flasher, might I add. We don't want another repercussion or a trend starting do we?

"Well isn't this a fancy tea party~!?"**[5]** I mumble, eyeing the dead door from the corner of my eye… _I wonder if Kisame can help me with this one…? _On closer analysis, the white painted wood has a giant split down its face- in a similar style to the blocks of wood they give to karate-ninja-masters when they do those flying leap thingies… **[6] **_Fucking fantastic…_

"Right… where to start…" I rub my face tiredly, and dump the tray and spatula –that I am _still _holding, onto the desk, drawing up the chair and plonking myself down. Interlacing my hands and placing them on my lap, I ask "first question please."

Ino is the first to speak; "How do you know Sasuke-kun?" Karin nods her head furiously strands of stringy blazing hair slapping all over the place. _She'd better not moult on my bed…_

"I knew him when I was little."

"Yeah, but so did me, forehead, Hinata and the rest of us!" _I'm guessing that 'forehead' is Sakura…._ _'Forehead' _cracks her knuckles threateningly. _Please stop, my furniture can't take this much abuse!_

I guess it's about time for another depressive flashback like the one where I explained my arrival at TonTon? Sighing again, the memories resurface:

"One day, when I went shopping with my mother-"

"Why does everything kick off when you go shopping with your Mum?" TenTen interjects. She is hastily shushed by the others, who have shuffled farther back on my bed to rest against the adjacent wall, clutching at the meagre array of pillows the mattress had to offer; obviously settling in for the long haul. I find it hard to believe that the five of them are constantly waging wars with one another; they seem like the best of friends at odd times…

"As I was saying, I went shopping with my mother, and being the intelligent eight year old I was-" _Insert snort from TenTen_, "-she sent me off on an adventure to the freezer section. I'm a dab hand at navigating supermarkets, y'know- okay yep, _rambling_ again… so I went to find the frozen peas, and discover two kids about my age huddling there. One of them was gripping the one who I presumed was the younger sibling; they looked pretty lost, so I grabbed a bag of peas and told them to follow me. They went with me to my mother and we found the nanny that was supposed to be watching them whilst she ran errands for the family. I ended up going round to their house for play dates and stuff, seeing as I effectively stopped them from being preyed upon by pedo's and the like… they were cute as kids…" I trail off with a smile, remembering the willow framed Itachi clutching onto a miniature Sasuke- his hair still the same endearing duck-butt shape it is today…

TenTen clears her throat. "So you're telling me, that Sasuke Uchiha and _his brother_, got _lost _in a supermarket, and _you_ rescued them from the _frozen section_" _Why does no one want to say 'Tachi's name? _

"Yup. Pretty much."

The five of them look like they're not sure whether to laugh or whether I've just lied through my teeth.

"Well, that's good enough for me." Ino gets up from my bed and smooth's down her skirt, and Karin follows suit –"But you'd better not fall for Sasuke-kun!" she finishes with a glare before she and her red-headed shadow saunter out of my room. _Like I'd fall for that ass-hat, he's practically family…_

_And then there were three…_

"Sakura?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have something against my door?"

* * *

"Can't get enough of me, eh?" the azure skinned boy smirks as I step into the Janitor's shed once again.

"Hi again, Kisame-sempai… why are you in here again?"

"I like the tools the Janitor keeps and shares with the grounds men…" he says slowly, stretching a hand towards a chainsaw (_how did I not notice that?!) _suspended on the nearby wall, "Did the filler work?"

"Yeah…" I place the supplies he had given me earlier back onto the shelf they originally came from.

"I sense a 'but' there" I laugh.

"You're right. It did work- _but-_ when I'd done, shut my door and just started cleaning up after myself, the girl who punched it in the first place karate chopped her way in. It's currently off its hinges with a huge crack in the middle…"

Kisame whistles, loftily. "So I'm guessing you need a new door then altogether?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good thing you're in luck then, right?" he jabs a thumb over his shoulder to a pile of cloned doors. _I'm guessing that these were prepared and put on standby due to Sakura's doing then?_ _You poor Janitor, now I see why you go on vacation when the term starts…_

I go to grab one of them, but a strong blue hand stops me. "Uh-uh, gaki, you don't think you can carry one of those do you?"

"No…?"

A slow grin spreads across the sixth former's face, "Tell you what… I'll carry it for you, and fix it up if you like?"

"I sense a 'but' there Kisame-sempai…" I say twisting his words from earlier back to him.

"Ah, smart one aren't you eh gaki? Tell you what, eat lunch with me and my buddies tomorrow and we'll call it even?" _'Buddies'?_

"…" _now you see, I've only known the guy five minutes, but if this means I get my door fixed for free then… fine… _"…You have yourself a deal, Hoshigaki-san." I beam, extending a hand, which he grabs and shakes.

That was how I ended up walking back towards the girls dormitory with a big blue sixth former that vaguely resembled as poorly casted extract of both the Jaws© movie franchise and a rejected surfer-dude. Kisame looked weirded out as I giggled for no apparent reason – but still he looked the part somewhat as the surfer dude, the white door a makeshift board for him to catch some waves on as he terrorized swimmers and sailors with his shark-y grin, it was probably due this burst of random imagination and flashes of creativity that people didn't really get to know me. For TenTen, Sakura, Hinata and the like it was too late (_Mwahhahahaha!) _so they just had to suck it up and get used to my behaviour.

Bless the strange blue child, he fixed a new door to the original frame, and additionally switched over the room number and door handles. What a gent~! Then he went to the courtesy of removing the old door, whistling at the damage Sakura had caused in its wooden façade.

_Something gives me the feeling that I may end up buying him lunch tomorrow… then again, it's the least I could do…_

Anko actually seemed impressed by the fact I'd gotten up off my arse and had done something about the problem, if she hadn't been so… _Anko-ish _and bitter (plus the fact that her favourite drama had just started and she couldn't be arsed to follow it up) I get the feeling I would have been awarded a gold star for my intuitive feat to rope someone in to fix the mess that _Sakura _had caused.

Anko was the queen of all things'lazy', so I could merely do some arse-kissing and pass it off as learning from the best.

My friends however were slightly concerned for my welfare; 'why?' I had questioned them, seeing as Sakura had some vendetta against my room and belongings and TenTen found it appropriate to laugh in my face every five minutes; Hinata was the only one to have not induced my wrath yet, but then again, I'd rather not jinx it!

They said it was purely out of apprehension that the A-cat-sue-key were up to something – (they had given me a low down on how to spot them and who to desperately avoid: I was surprised to find out that 'Tachi was part of this 'big bad' organisation…) apparently I must attract unwelcome attention: first Deidara, Sasori and Hidan on my first day, and now Kisame (they had seen him fixing my door). I was kind of glad I'd kept my encounter with Itachi from them – but then again, they probably knew I was bound to bump into him sooner or later, seeing as Sasuke and I were _bonding_ so nicely the other day after all those years…

Still, I'd put all of their chiding in to the back of my head, and began to relax through the next school day. I ignored Deidara's eyes burning a hole into my back during form time, barely acknowledged him and Sasori in Art and floated off to the lessons without any A-cat-sue-key intervention in a daze. I jumped when Hinata tapped me on the shoulder in English.

Calming my nerves, I shoot a small smile at the navy-haired teen, and turn my attention to Kakashi-sensei, as he's bothering to take attendance today. He seems a little pissy, and that meant one of three options: A) It was pms time for Mr Hatake (Out of the question, as he's male, but hey, who knows? Perhaps he's actually female under that turtle neck sweater of his and makes up for lack of testosterone by gorging on ero-novels?), B) The coffee maker in the Staff Room had broken down and he was going through caffeine withdrawal, or option C) There had been an announcement that there would be another Icha-Icha book released and he couldn't make it to the premier signing to get his hands on a copy.

I had a feeling it may have been the latter, but seeing as Kakashi-sensei was violently ticking the paper register with a biro, I left it be, lest that biro end up thrown at my fore head.

"Hai" a random classmate called as their name was read.

"Uchiha Obi-" **[7]**

"HAI~! Tobi is present, Kakashi-sensei! Tobi is sorry for his previous absence in the double lesson yesterday~!" an eagerly chipper voice yipped from where a form occupied the doorway. Now, two days ago (it feels like eons away though) I accidentally flashed myself to a Barbie doll, yesterday I reunited with memories of the frozen section and a _blue_ adolescent with shark like teeth. You'd think I'd seen it all by now, but seriously, this just takes the biscuit: 'Tobi' as he so pleasantly refers to himself as, is currently wearing a bright orange mask that clashes with the dull colours of the TonTon regulatory uniform. It's so optimistic, my eye twitches, similarly to how it did when I first saw the disgusting colour of the girls dormitory entrance.

Kakashi grunts testily and motions for the hyper kid to sit.

And he tries to… but I'm sat in what must be his seat… _whoopsies~! I feel like smacking my forehead anime-style… which is so cliché…_

"Gomen, Tobi-kun," I say, preparing to move, "I was in your seat… I presumed no one was sat here yesterday and placed myself next to Hina-chan."

"Mah~! Tobi doesn't mind, pretty-girl –chan can share with me~! Hallo! Hinata-chan!" _'pretty-girl-chan' _I just _know _my eye is on permanent twitch mode by now...

"H-h-hello, Tobi-kun…" Hinata murmurs back quietly.

"I can't share with you Tobi, there isn't enough space for both of us and Hina-chan, and I don't mind moving."

"But Tobi wants you to sit with him!"

"Kobayashi! Uchiha! Keep it down! I'm trying to teach here!"

"…for once in your life?" I grumble under my breath.

"What was that, Kobayashi?!" Kakashi-sensei snarls, lobbing the biro projectile at me. I duck just in time_. Has he got fucking bat hearing?!_

"N-n-nothing sir!" _what is it with responsible adults and throwing things at me?_

"Good. Keep it that way."

"Hey, are you Akiko Kobayashi?" Tobi says, tapping his masked chin. It makes a hollow thumping noise that grates on my nerves.

"Aye. That I am."

"Sempai talked about you this morning!" (_'sempai'?) _he squeals, clasping his hands together like a dreaming fan-girl, "he said that you were going to eat lunch with Tobi and the others today! Tobi is so excited now~!" the Uchiha (strange, because I don't remember seeing him when I was little- but I can kinda see why they hid him from the public eye…) babbles, forcibly pulling me down onto his knee and tucking the chair tightly under the table so that I have no escape. Hinata shoots me a worried glance, perhaps feeling sympathy for my thighs that will have no blood circulating through them by the end of this tirade, but because I failed to inform her and the others of the deal I struck with Kisame.

"Oh, you mean Kisame-sempai then?" I say nonchalantly.

"Hai~!" the boy says perkily, and I can feel the smile radiate from underneath that nauseating mask.

"Yeah… Hina-chan, I forgot that I owed him for helping me out with the door yesterday, so I won't be able to sit with you all at lunch…Gomen…" I utter sheepishly, trying to rub the back of head to appeal to her more lenient side, just like a joyful Uzumaki we both know. This technique usually gets him off the hook, so maybe it would work for me!? Unfortunately for me, Tobi's got an arm round my waist like a vice trapping both arms, and trying to reach my neck around his death grip portrays me like I've got some kind of nervous twitch.

"Y-y-you don't h-have to a-a-apologise to m-m-m-me, A-akiko-chan." And I can tell from the look in her pale moonlight eyes that I've failed, and she's disappointed.

_ I don't see how she should be disappointed, it's not like I can stand Kisame up when I owe him a favour- god that sounds wrong- and anyway, the A-cat-sue-key- save for Blondie, have been pretty neutral. If I can get through a forty minute lunch break without being snapped in two or any mortification, all should be well and they may leave me alone… what was it you're supposed to do with bears? Oh yeah, don't antagonise them…play dead… or climb up a tree…? -_

"Akiko-cha~n?" Tobi drawls rather closely to my ear, "Akiko-cha~n, the bell has rung~! Tobi wants to go and get lunch~!"

I snap out of my reverie and reveal that Hinata is no longer sat beside me; in fact, most of the class has already filtering out into the hallway. _Man, I must totally be out of it when I start psycho-babbling… _

"Okay, then Tobi-kun, let's go eat!

* * *

"Oi! Gaki, glad you could make it!"

"Hiya, Kisame-sempai!" I wave to the big-blue-giant, who is attempting to tackle a monstrous sandwich which I thankfully didn't have to buy for would have cost me an arm and a leg to fork out for _that._

"Though you were going to pass on my offer, gaki."

"I keep to my word, Kisame-sempai…" I mumble, placing my lunch tray on their selected table, Tobi plonks himself in a chair to my left, whipping a cute-kiddie-style tin that contained one of the most E number infested lunches I'd ever laid eyes on, "I didn't know the sixth formers shared the canteen with us?"

"Yeah, but we usually keep to ourselves." _They had a point; it did get rather crowded in here at times…_

There's a shift of movement to my right, and I smile are Itachi slides into the seat, placing a tub of pudding with a spoon balanced across the top on the table. I frown at his dietary choices, but separating Itachi and sugar are like trying to discipline yourself to stop breathing. _You just don't do it_. "Hiya 'Tachi! You stalking me or something? I mean, I know it's been a while and all, but there's plenty of time to catch up~!" I say biting into an apple slice and receive a sliver of lips curling upwards before he digs in to his own food.

"I didn't know you knew Itachi-san, Akiko-chan" Kisame says, one eye narrowed in suspicion, the other widened in surprise. I choke round a piece of apple at the ridiculous sight of his face and Tobi thumps me on the back. I nod gratefully in his direction.

"We grew up around each other" Itachi supplies simply, and it's left at that.

The rest of the A-cat-sue-key began to fill the edges of the round table.

I was welcomed by a "'Sup, Bitch?" from Hidan, a stoic nod from an extremely tall sixth former by the name of Kakuzu – whose body was stitched up relentlessly (he'd been in an accident over the summer holidays according to Tobi, so that explained the jagged threads predominant on his exposed flesh.) Sasori had inclined his head, and picked at a salad, pushing sheets of lettuce round the plate with his fork.

Zetsu apparently couldn't make it to lunch because I _'quote' 'unquote'_; 'had better things to do'.

Then came the addition of two more people; a blue haired girl (I would have to ask her if that was her natural colour… because it was such a lovely shade) with amber eyes and paper flowers in her hair, and a blazing haired male with a multitude of precisely placed piercings spanning across the extremities unprotected that I could see.

They introduced themselves as Konan and Pein, the two of them were in their final year of sixth form and had been appointed as Head boy and Girl for the sixth form community. Now I'd only just realised why I had been told to be wary of the A-cat-sue-key; they held influence over the teachers and my peers- and were not to be trifled with. I was usually only threatened by Fugaku-Oji-san and Itachi's glares, but Pein's eyes… that interesting swirl of grey and violet, they worried me to no end. They were like a sink hole; they pulled you in until it was too late-

"What the fuck is _she _doing here, yeah?!" a disgruntled voice that is all too familiar yelps. Deidara nearly drops his tray at the sight of me, and I can hear the faint _crumple _of Itachi's pudding cup as his grip tightens around the plastic, the action so faint yet mildly disturbing. From my perspective, it was like he was snapping someone's bones, and I hate (well not really) think it, but if he persevered with that attitude, Itachi was definitely plotting to snap Deidara's neck. The poor pudding cup had to take the brunt of t for now- a clear sign of restraint on the elder Uchiha's part.

"I got invited to sit here Barbie, so suck it up!"

"You just got fucking owned, you pansy arsed fucker, so sit down and eat!" _I have to agree with Hidan on that one…_

"Brat, stop causing a scene." Sasori says dolefully eyes not leaving his salad.

"But she started it, un!"

"I didn't this time! _You_ did!"

"Oh really?! You were the one topless! You should have seen the mark on her neck Danna, yeah!"

Pudding flies everywhere, a large globule slapping the side of my face as Itachi finally snaps.

For a long pause, nobody says anything, and I feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Hidan guffaws at the statement, but no one else seems to find it as funny, so he shuts up after a few seconds of awkward tension surround him. They all seem a little shocked by what Deidara's just exposed, even Sasori... I _think... _It's hard to tell with that emotionless face of his. Itachi seems to be shaking with silent rage on my right hand side, and that _does not _bode well.

"You… _Arse_… Deidara…" I manage to spit out, attempting to wipe the vanilla flavoured pudding from my cheek, but only smearing it instead. Said blonde smiles triumphantly. _Yeah sure, like making a further enemy of me and sending 'Tachi to the brink will get you anywhere!_

"Is this true, Akiko?" I feel the shudder rising from my coccyx from the cool intonation of Itachi's voice.

I nod dumbly.

"Is that what yesterday's little episode was over?"

My head drops in defeat.

"Then I think we need to have a little c_hat_, ne?"

_Well fuck… fate hates me right now, doesn't it…?_

* * *

**[1] Bull shitting again here, but there's always at least one of these scenes in an action movie, right? Name one for me if you want to, I'm not a movie orientated person. I branch out sometimes, but mostly stick to Studio Ghibli and other classics... **

**[2] Ah, the program of my youth. Spud the scarecrow was scary as hell though…**

**[3] "Brat" or loosely translated as "kid" or something… I dunno…I was tempted to make a fish joke and have him call her 'guppy' but I'm above that. I ****_think_****. **

**[4] Yeah, I researched wood filler for this. I have basic DIY skills, but this I wanted to sound somewhat correct.**

**[5] Nullmetal Alchemist (find it on YouTube if you haven't already!) episode seven - PurpleEyesWTF's line when he voiced 'Barry the Chopper' X'''D I couldn't help myself… Gomen.**

**[6] WTAF? What am I on today? **

**[7] Has everyone caught up with the manga? Crazy shit is happening- ****_has_**** been happening for a while now… I'm going to keep "Tobi" as "Tobi" for now. He's great material for pissing off certain characters ****_–cough-Deidara-cough-! _****Without him flipping out and well, I'm not going to spoil it if you haven't read the manga.**

**Holy-shi- **

**Well, I think if Kakashi wasn't pms-ing, Itachi might be. We all know about the Uchiha 'Curse of Hatred', ne? (If not do your homework…) Maybe I can adapt this slightly for Itachi. He's obviously not a happy-bunny about the Akiko-Deidara thingy… **

**Heh… just wait and see, wait and see…**

**That poor, poor pudding... :(**

**Oh! And I've only got one exam to go now~! A five hour art exam locked in a room with roughly seven other people for the day... Funfunfun~! **

**The great thing about mock week is that we're allowed study leave, so I found the time when I wasn't revising to write this. And seeing as I don't have the art exam till next week now and that I'm posting this in the early hours of the morning, I'm going to have as well deserved lie-in now!**

**Ja ne~!**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"I can talk" – Two Door Cinema Club

"Sherlock (Clue + Note)" – SHINee (For Akiko Vs. Grass (**Soyongdorichyeo!**))

"Beginner" – AKB48 (For Izumo and Kotetsu (I keep giggling to myself as I picture writing IzumoXKotetsu… Seriously, my cat is sending me worried glances as I type…))

"Call it what you want" – Foster the People

"Under the thumb" – Ashok **[Be warned, there are expletives! But I love the song!] **

"Breezeblocks" – Alt-J (Could this be describing Itachi and Akiko's relationship?(OOOOH! PLOT TWIST!) Seriously, listen to the lyrics!)

"Flying Get" – AKB48 (I'm going through a J-pop phase it seems… I love this song though. So summer-y…)


	6. Chapter 5:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter Five: What kind of knight in shining armour has a ramen fetish?~_

* * *

The A-cat-sue-key all but disappears from the lunch table, the awkward tension obviously getting at them. _Cowards! _Kisame is one of the last to leave, and shoots me a sympathetic glance, before making himself scarce.

Deidei was about to make a break for it too, in blatant regret of pissing off Itachi, but the said Uchiha collared him before he could run, dragging him back to where I was sat, wishing that the ground would swallow me up.

_Ha! Take that Barbie doll! Wait no! Not me too Itachi!_ I whimper as my old friend drags me to the scarily conveniently exit nearby; once the three of us are situated outside the cafeteria by the edge of one of the manicured lawns, and out of earshot for passer-by's and some of the more nosy variety, the famous Uchiha glare is flicked on. I can see him mentally cranking up its intensity, and on a scale of one to ten, it's a seven; meaning that if you're afraid_, tough_, because he can smell your fear now and _he will_ use it against you… Believe me, I've gotten a level nine and it scared the crappers out of me... Traumatise by its power at such a young age, I cried for roughly a week before Itachi got fed up and shared his secret dango stash with me as an apology gift._ Good times... Good times... though it's a wonder I'm not mentally scared or have and aversion to dango with how much we ate that time. _Between the two of us, we had depleted Itachi's stockpile, Sasuke looking more in pain than us from watching us eat, while we were suffering from indigestion.

Subconsciously, my body moves to react from the burning of his pupils; shifting Deidara in front of me and shaking pathetically behind the blondes back.

_Crappers 'Tachi! Can you get any more aggravated? Your eyes are practically glowing red! _**[1]**

"So…" the raven haired male says, intense eyes sneering at me and the blonde, "…What is this all about?" He crosses his arms to further the 'disappointed Nii-san' effect.

Deidara and I share a glance; from what I've experienced so far and with how he behaves around Itachi, I presume they never really 'hit it off'. Barbie's bawdy attitude when confronted by the elder Uchiha brother portrayed him as someone with a false bravado; a '_fuck you and the world too!'_ complex would arise. But now… well, Barbie's knees are knocking. I snort in my head, _some tough guy you are…_

We share a conversation through our shifty eyes:

His eyes widen –_What do we do?_

'We'? I frown – "_We'll" tell the truth dumbass!_

His pupils shudder from side to side – _What?! No! He'll skin me alive! _(_Good because you deserve it_, I think back)

My eyes narrow – _He will be able to tell if you lie though…_

Cadet grey eyes water, and I gulp – _Fine, I'll do the talking Barbie…_

"Are you ready to tell me now?" Itachi smirks at our pathetic display. _You know at times like these he reminds me of his Uncle Madara. He was also a crazy arsed motherfu-_

"Well?!" the Uchiha snaps, making me and Barbie doll flinch.

"E-e-e-eto…?" _Great, I sound like Hinata now!_

Itachi narrows his eyes at me, and I try to shrink back but the traitorous Barbie doll shoves me forward like a lamb to the slaughter. I lose my balance and slam right into Itachi.

_Fuck all kinds of duck!_

Now he must be really mad because he merely picks me up under the shoulders and plops me back onto my feet. A stern look is thrown at Deidara and the blonde legs it. I can feel 'Tachi's burning stare at the retreating blonde's back without looking as to where his laser-beam eyes are pointing, imagining what methods of torture he'll use on the cowardly Barbie doll when he manages to corner him after interrogating me.

_And I thought I had problems… 'Tachi's more sadistic than me!_

"Now, tell me what _really_ happened..." His voice is much softer this time, and I'm afraid to look into his eyes.

"E-eto…" _take a deep breath, Aki… _"…I went back to the dorms to get changed and left my blind open… I didn't know who was living across from me at the time, and their blind was constantly closed so I didn't see any harm… It turned out Deidra lived across from me… and he had his blind open too."

Itachi sucks in a breath, and I shiver.

"What did he mean by mark?" his voice croaks.

"You remember how when I was little I bruised like a peach?" It was true, whenever we went 'exploring' as kids I was the one who came home black and blue and covered in mud whilst both Sasuke and Itachi were pristine- ostly because I was pushed into dirt patches and rolled down hills by Sasuke and Itachi would sweep me up and hug me if I ended up sporting a new bruise… Mikoto-Oba-san had invested in spare clothes for me whenever I came to play.

"Hn"

"Well in the taxi here, the seat belt attacked me and left a whopper of a bruise on my collar bone.

He must have mistaken it for _something else_…" I hate to admit it, but it did look hickey shaped. I'dbe suspicious too if I were Deidara, but this time, he was lying through his teeth.

"Good."

_N-n-nani? _**[3]**

"You will not, understand me: _will not_ do anything like this ever again." Itachi whispers harshly, hands resting on my shoulders. Somehow, that doesn't strike a nice chord with me when he says it.

"Oh, so you think you can push me around then?"

"Akiko, I'm only thinking about your safety…" he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose

"What? By c_ontrolling_ me?!"

"Deidara doesn't understand that he shouldn't mess with people I care about, so I don't want a repercussion-"

"I didn't _want _it to happen in the first place, you know!" I spat back at him, pulling a Sakura worthy hissy-fit, rage spewing in my voice as I speak. I know he's only trying to help me, but why does he feel the need to treat me like a possession? We only just got reacquainted with one another yesterday, so why? Why does he bother? A spike of pain, cuts through my stomach like a knife, twisting as my feelings churn.

"I didn't mean it like that-"

"You did!" _I shouldn't be acting like a kid… I shouldn't… but it hurts… why does it hurt?_

"Akiko-" I slap his hand away as it reaches for me, "Akiko, I just don't want you getting hurt…"

"Why, Itachi? You're _not_ my brother. You're not even _related_ to me. So why do you have to care at all?" I expect a smack to my face, but it doesn't come. _That… I must have hurt him… I must have._

Instead a pale hand shifts to cup my cheek, azure meet onyx eyes, and his lips part in preparation for speech…

"…-" …Then the bell rings.

"-… We'll continue this… sometime…" he murmurs, before stalking off to his next class.

I go to move, but my legs… are _stuck_. My body wobbles unstably as I think, _what the hell just happened…?_

I must look so pitiful with pudding on my face, and my stomach is now growling as the only food I consumed over lunch was a meagre slice of apple.

_What class do I even have now? Urgh, biology… I think that Jiraiya-sensei won't mind me skipping just this once…_

I'd left my bag in the cafeteria, so I go to retrieve it. Sure enough, it's still by the A-cat-sue-key's table, with my lunch tray and a destroyed pudding cup.

The tears are trickling down my face before I notice. I swipe them away with my sleeve angrily, but the traitorous tracks still remain. _I'd better go wash my face…_

"Akiko-chan!" I spin at the voice. Just perfect that someone I knew would find me in this state… then again, if it's who I think it is, maybe he can help me.

"Naruto?"

"Are you late for biology too?"_ I'm skipping you fool…_

"No… I'm not feeling very well, so I'm about to go to the nurse's office…"

"You too, eh? Sakura flipped the table at lunch today, and my ramen landed on me. I'm 'gonna go and get something to put on my legs to stop the burning, dattebayo!" I scan down and sure enough, it looks like he's wet himself. To his dismay, I begin to laugh, a few tears slipping down my cheeks as I go.

"Arg! Don't you laugh too! It's all I got off them all lunch!" the hyper blonde whines. There's something special about Naruto. A quality that makes you want to never give up. Whether it's his smile, or the spectacular array of mishaps that catalyse around him, he never gives up, and this resilience of his- something in the short time that I've known him, is what I admire about the boy.

I wipe the tears of mirth from my eyes and slap my cheeks lightly, "Yosh! I feel better now… let's get you to the nurse's office Naru-kun."

He limps along with me in mutual silence, arm slung around my shoulder for support as he winces at the ramen-induced burning on his thighs.

_Who knew my knight in shining armour would have a ramen fetish?_

"Eto… Aki-chan, why do you smell of vanilla?"

_I forgot I had pudding on my face… _with my index finger; I swipe a blob off of my cheek and taste it. The knife twists in my stomach again as the insipid flavour fills my palate.

"It's a long story, Naru-kun… a very long story…" I mumble back.

* * *

**[1] So the Sharingan finally surfaces~!**

**[2] I'm keeping Madara and Tobi/Obito/Blah,Blah,Blah separate. It's just easier. Plus, who doesn't love Uncle Madara~? (If you have no clue about what I'm talking about or haven't read the manga, DO IT. Or cheat and use Narutopedia... XD)**

**[3] "What?"**

**Ara… Looks like things are heating up again… and Akiko still has pudding on her face… щ(ºДºщ)**

**It's another short chapter, but the same still applies to it like in chapter three; I felt like this wasn't something I could place in front of a longer chapter. It's much more intimate, and deserves the privilege.**

**It's nice that Naru-Naru was there to cheer her up though. We all deserve a Naruto-optimistic-type of person in our life…**

**Thank you to the anonymous reviewer (I can't reply back and I **_so_** wanted to!) with your endearment for Break a leg~! **

**I don't know why people are so scared of reviewing: maybe they're just being lazy, maybe they don't think my story is worth it at all. ****MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SET ITACHI AND HIS UCHIHA GLARE ON THEM! **

**I am glad though however, that people are stopping to read this fic. **

**So… read away I guess…?**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Danger (Medusa II) – SHINee

"Kami-sama Neji Maki" ("Wind-up God") – GUMi (produced by KEMU)

"Sakura" - Ikimono-Gakari (Such a beautiful song…)


	7. Chapter 6:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter Six: Freak weather that can't seem to remember, a truce, and may your future me… 'Youthful'…?~_

* * *

It seems like I'm squatting in my room for passing weeks after the school days end, pondering what Itachi may possibly have to say that can justify his actions. He still hasn't told me, and it's running up to the midst of December now. I, Akiko Kobayashi, a girl of a mere sixteen years of age consisting of schizophrenic hair, eyes that burst into tears at the mention of Bambi© **[1]** or when they come into contact with a breeze, skin that bruises like fruit and a severe case of luck depravation ( or perhaps too much luck that it gets sick of me and puts its effort into _destroying _my life?) have concluded that unless he's going to drop on one knee and declare a vibrant obsession for all things… _'Akiko' _(_Pfft!_) then Itachi Uchiha is most definitely going to lecture me about public relations, social conduct between men and women, and if he's feeling _extravagantly _sadistic, will sit me down and explain the 'facts of life'.

_Well too bad, 'Tachi, Mother Dearest beat you there~!_

Let's just say, I never want that kind of talk with her ever again, and I will never look at cucumbers in the same way for eternity… It makes me shudder just remembering…

Still, that moment just keeps replaying over and over. He was too close for comfort –trust me, I've been on the receiving end of hugs from time to time, but none of them resulted in me nearly sporting hand shaped welts on my shoulder blades. The bruise on my neck has miraculously vanished though, yes, shortly after they caused so much discord.

_Is it normal to bruise that much for a teenager? Actually, when have I ever been normal? _

If the bell hadn't interrupted, what would he have said? And what the hell happened to Blondie?

I get an answer to the latter the following morning after the incident, when Deidara no Iwa tromps into Form Time, pouting, red in the cheeks, and banana coloured hair drastically lighter; the long locks are now just reaching his past his shoulders, instead of cascading down his back like a river of straw – but that damned fringe remains. _I wonder, is he brutally disfigured? _Maybe that was why he hid the left side of his face? Who knew? I made a mental note to ask in a not so polite context the next time we had a little bout. However, the fact that he was practically bald (in my opinion seeing as there was so much hair before) 'kinda freaked me out; I was baffled as to why one of the most narcissistic person I had ever chanced upon in my neurotic journey would purposely go on a snipping spree. Kami he must have been two stone lighter without that entire extra appendage weighing him down… **[2]**

Unconsciously my hand slips up my left blazer sleeve and whips out my library card. I'd swapped it to my sleeve – hidden blade style, for quick release; plus it wouldn't look as suspicious as fumbling round in the pocket by my chest for a start. Why I had to arm myself was purely down to the bubbling paranoia that if a narcissist can hack away at his own treasured barnet, pigs can fly and it will rain cats and dogs... And I did not want to be smacked in the face by a low flying piece of bacon nor do I wish to buy an industrial umbrella.

Then again, why not be open to change?

_Nah, too much hassle…_

I put the credit card away and glare at the Barbie doll, who returns it with venomous eyes and struts to his seat at the back of the room. I can feel his eyes burning into my back for the remaining twenty minutes of Form; we'd gotten bored – Kakashi-sensei hadn't even bothered to turn up at all today until a chocolate haired man with an unfortunate scar across his nose wearing a forest green gilet burst into the room panting, saying he'd just sprinted across from the Primary school section of campus to take a register because our sensei was '_ill'. _I have no idea why they sent someone from the Primary school, shouldn't he have been teaching ankle-biters instead of the more dangerous teenage whippersnappers?

The man introduced himself as Iruka Umino- still panting heavily; he dragged himself to Kakashi's desk and produced a crumbled piece of A4 with our names on it, then proceeded to call out our names.

For the next few minutes he called out our names, Iruka bobbing his head and smiling when he called out a designation he recognised, when "Uzamaki Naruto?"

"Hai! Iruka-sensei!"

"Nice to see you again Naruto, when I last saw you, you were this high!" Iruka chirped wafting a hand roughly four feet from the floor. Now Naruto isn't exactly the tallest person – I'm not tall either but I have a good inch or so on him, but this makes me question how adult's memories must get warped, if the ramen loving fiend only came up to my mid-thigh when he was about eleven?

"I'm no midget, Iruka-sensei! Dattebayo!" the hyper blond exclaims, and Umino-sensei merely motions his palms out in compromise.

"But Naruto, I last saw you when you were seven-" Some of Iruka's former students, including Neji, Hinata, Sakura and Kiba either frown or swipe and hand down their face in frustration.

"You taught me in sixth grade!"

_Yeah, Umino-san is definitely a forgetful person…_

"Mah! Never mind, you-" he points to me, "-I don't remember seeing you before… Are you new here?"

"Hai, I'm Akiko Kobayashi."

"Yeah, she's awesome because she hangs around with me! Dattebayo!" '_Someone' _(C'mon, we all know who…) at the back snorts indignantly.

"Well then, I'm glad you've got such a great friend Naruto, likewise to you Kobayashi-chan." Umino-sensei smiles lopsidedly, and then glances at the large dialled watch on his wrist with a groan. "I've got to get back to the Primary school now, it was nice seeing you all again!" Umino-sensei tucks the register into a random pocket of his gilet, stretching his legs expertly before dashing out of the door.

_I dub thee – forgetful whirlwind~! _

The bell helpfully rings after his departure, so I make my way to the first lesson of the day: Double art.

I can feel that vicious glare on my back all the way to the studios, following me down each corridor, not even stopping when I plonk myself down in the usual seat, neither stopping when he's sat down too-

"What do you want, Deidara?" I ask tiredly.

"…"

"Seriously, what?"

"…Thanks… so much for dropping me in it… with the Uchiha… last week." He spits out slowly through gritted teeth.

"Nani? You were the one who ran away, wailing like a little girl!" I hear a scoffing noise and lean round the blond to wave at Sasori, now present in his usual spot, "By the way Blondie, what happened to your hair? Your, like, bald…"

Deidara hisses at me a little, "An Uchiha did!" ans Sasori chuckles.

"Itachi cornered him later on the same day he _'ran away, wailing like a little girl' _and took a huge chunk out of it." I gaped at the red head in disbelief, "That's why he's so pissy, the brat thinks you manipulated him into doing it…" Akasuna no Sasori shrugs before padding off to fetch some acrylic paints. _Nice one 'Tachi!_

I look at the blonde, "Dei…"

"-Don't call me that!"

"Okay then! _Deidara_, I'm sorry that your hair got attacked, but it was nothing to do with me. After you left Itachi was acting strange- stranger than usual!" I add on when the blonde snorts, "If I knew he would pull something like that, I'd of stopped him, believe me Deidara…"

He only dips his head a little in return, and when Sasori returns, the three of us work on our pieces in mutual silence.

"…Hey, Deidara?"

"Hm?"

"Why _is _your hair so short?"

"Sasori-dana blunt cut it for me so that it would be level again..."

"Oh…"

Dei reaches for some of the paints on Sasori's palate, turning his nose up at the choice of colours he gets up to find some of his own, I watch him select a tube of bright blue, biding my time as he unscrews the cap, then-

"Hey, Deidara?" He turns, paint tube still in hand, "At least we can tell that you're male now!"

The tube, squished flat in a tight fist spews its electric cobalt in a fashion Jackson Pollock **[3] **would be proud of.

Except it landed all over Kurenai-Sensei…

_Whoopsies, what a shame~!_

* * *

That was how I found myself in the Headmistress's office along-side the Barbie doll.

_I bet you thought we were going to make up and bestest buddies, ne? You thought wrong…and I doubt you saw the paint incident coming, I'm smirking mentally right now at your lack of observation~!_

I'd never actually met the Headmistress before- I mean, I was supposed to when I first got here and the Deputy Head, but Izumo took me to the dorms because they were both _'unavailable'_ or something like that…

To be honest, I can now see why they didn't want me to meet the Headmistress right off the bat, because at this moment in time, Tsunade Senju , Headmistress of TonTon Academy, is drunk as a skunk. Her Deputy Head, Shizune is rushed off of her feet with a mountain of paperwork.

"So, -hic- which… o-one of y-uwse…um…?" Tsunade slurs incoherently.

"Mr. Iwa spilt the paint over Yuhi-san after provocation from Miss Kobayashi, Tsunade-san…" Shizune says in a monotone voice not looking up from the current paper she's attacking with a pen.

"A-ara! … I wish I 'cudda –hic- seen hewr face –hic-!" Tsunade then belly laughs flopping her head onto the large oak desk in front of her with a sickening crash. Deidara and I stare with worried eyes.

"She's fine, " Shizune says disinterestedly, " Now, about your punishment…"

"But I didn't do anything, yeah!" Shizune raises an eyebrow at him as if to say '_O Rly?' _**[4] **Then continues doling out her own judgement:

"Hm… During next week's extra curriculum week, you will both be assigned to lessons with Guy-sensei -_for the whole week_, might I add." She nods expertly, and Deidara sputters in protest. _What's extra curriculum week?_

"But! I was going to go on the art option with Dana! You can't make me do this!"

"I just did, no buts, get out of my office- and Mr. Iwa, if you fail to turn up to your lessons without an excuse for an absence, I _will_ know about it."

Deidara pouts, deciding not to dig a deeper hole for himself and flounces out of the office, blonde hair flicking defiantly from side to side as he struts.

A moment of silence passes as I stand there dumbfounded and Shizune goes back to the paperwork mountain.

"Can I help you, Miss Kobayashi?" Shizune says with a bored intonation.

"What's extra curriculum week?"

* * *

Extra curriculum week turned out to be a nightmare in disguise.

TonTon doesn't do _'holidays'_ like normal academies or public schools; the terms are longer and students receive a larger amount of time off during the holiday seasons – so instead of giving us a half term, we worked up until Christmas to receive three weeks off, instead of the usual two. Extra-curricular week just happened to be the week before the term stopped from the Christmas cheer, where students would pick one specific subject to hone on for recreation, as a wind down to the break awaiting them.

Unlike me, everyone else seemed to already know about extra-curricular week, because none of my friends were in my forced punishment class except from Lee, but he's always been… _eccentric_, so we'll let him off.

In fact, all of my so called friends had dispersed themselves into normal classes – the array, which I probably wouldn't have been able to find a vacancy in anyways, they were jam packed to the rafters, and why? Because no one wanted to be in Guy-sensei's class.

My eye twitched the morning I met up with Lee to head to the outdoor running track behind the gym when I saw his attire: a skin tight leaf green spandex suit and clashing orange leg warmers. Unfortunately for the bowl-cut boy, Barbie chose this moment to join us grumbling about 'stupid ginger girls and blue paint', Lee's taste in fashion and use of "But ginger girls and blue paint are both so youthful~!" set him off in a fit of hysterics, slumped on the floor in pain as the laughter deflated his lungs repeatedly.

We ended up carrying- well, Lee carrying him from under his arms and me holding his legs and giving up when the dumb blonde tried to kick me, blaming it on the fact that he was 'ticklish' on the backs of his calves, so that he was half dragged to the running track.

We were then met by "Green and Youthful" Senior, in the form of Guy-sensei; all spandex clad and tangerine legs warmers a-go-go…

_Yay…_

A fourth member of this class then decided to make himself known by unleashing a wave of killer aura that rose giant goose bumps on my arms. He was squatting by the long jump pit, glaring at the sand with no remorse, red hair glinting in the autumn sun. When he figured we'd all assembled, he made his way gracefully over to our ensemble, the emotionless teal eyes dichotomous to the kanji for love **[5] **tattooed on his forehead.

_I don't know whether to swoon or panic…_

"Yosh! Now that we're all here, we can introduce ourselves! My youthful students, I am Might Guy! Your youthful sensei for the week!" Guy-Sensei says with a million dollar smile that almost blinds me – thank Kami I have a fringe to hide my eyes I tell you, thank Kami!

Deidara's face visibly pales, exposed eye narrowed in irritation; "Deidara no Iwa…" He mumbles quietly to the teacher.

"I am Akiko Kobayashi!" I smile slightly, feeling braver than blondie and regretting it when I'm wrapped in a spandex clad hug with Guy screeching _'what a most youthful smile'_ down my ear and a chorus of _'of course, such a youthful display of joy from snap-dragon-chan~!'_.

"…Gaara Subaku…" the read head says slowly in a voice like crushed velvet. _My gosh… this is like a Catch-22 _**[6] **_situation; tempting voice but looks like he'd strangle me any day…_

"I am Rock Lee!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

We watch their tirade in blatant confusion, which deepens when a sunset and rolling tides appear behind the two. Then the two jolly-green people separate almost _regretfully._

"Yosh! My youthful students! I think it is now time for us to get to work! Your goal is five hundred laps of the track by lunchtime!" and with that, Lee and Guy-sensei bound away, Gaara charging off not long behind them, running in an eerie manner- feet sifting across the track like he's floating, picking up little pockets of dust as he goes which follow him in his wake. _Weird…_.

Deidara and I share a mutual look of horror.

_I'll be dead by fifty laps, never mind five hundred…_

"A-ano? Deidara?"

"Yeah, un?"

"Temporary truce? For this week?" I shudder "…We're the only normal ones here…." He winces and so do I at the sight of two green suits and a demonic red-head.

"Shake on it, yeah?"

We shake hands quickly and begin to lope round the track making up the lost ground we created from talking.

By lap eighteen, however, Deidara is pulling ahead and I… _desperately need a wee…_

"GAI-SENSEI!" I shout across the track to where the spandex twins are going at break-neck speed, "I'M GOING FOR A MOST YOUTHFUL TOILET BREAK!"

Before he can reply, or _stop me_ for that matter, I'm sprinting to the girl's loos (_suddenly, my legs don't seem as tired… *whistling innocently*)_ inside the school on the farthest corridor from the gym; panting when I fling the door open and dive into an empty stall.

I'm sweating buckets from all the running, my legs are about as useful as ramen noodles drenched in miso soup, and I don't believe that for the rest of the week, my body can take this much abuse. I really don't. Imagine if it's like this every day… No thank you!

When I'm done with my… _business…_ I wash my hands in the sink the minute a familiar face pops into the girl's bathroom:

"Konan-sempai!" I say, waving a little and splashing soapy water in my face, I flinch when some hits my eyes. _Smooth moves…_

"Ah! Akiko-chan, nice to see you again!" she says with a demure smile.

When she walks over to the sinks, I shift to go and blast off my hands with the awesome hand dryers – seriously, they're the ones that ripple your skin because they're that powerful (I find it hilarious to watch!) and she waits until I am done.

"I haven't seen you since you… sat with us that time…" she says carefully.

"…Ah"

"I believe Deidara is in your _'class'_ with Guy-sensei?" she says almost apologetically.

"Yup. We called a cease fire for now. Enemy or not, you have to band together against green spandex."

She laughs softly, before a sombre expression claims her face, "And what of Itachi? Have you… spoken to him yet?"

"I believe he wished to say something to me, but he's failed to come and talk for me for four weeks…"

"Have you ever thought that maybe he is waiting for you to seek him out?"

I snort, "It would be just like him to go all cryptic on me. Do you think he's trying to lure me in or something?"

Konan bites her lower lip, the piercing below it jingles under the artificial lighting in the bathroom, "Maybe he is… maybe he isn't… What are you doing for Christmas this year Akiko-chan?" she says, before shiftily chewing on her lip again.

"Uh… I dunno…" my parents had shot me a text a fortnight ago saying that they'd be vacationing up in Yuki **[7] **and I declined joining them, saying I'd prefer not to stray too far from the school. They took it rather well actually, almost _too well_ to be frank. Not that I mind. "I guess I'll be staying over in the dorms…"

"Did you not know that they close the dorms for the holidays?" I gape at her- my plan of spending the holidays pulling an 'Anko' and lolling on one of the poufy couches in the dorm social room binding on snacks and watching drama re-runs is ruined, "I guess not then? Well, the rest of the Akatsuki and I have been invited to attend Christmas with the Uchiha's, I'm sure Itachi wouldn't mind if you tagged along?"

"I couldn't impose on them like that, plus 'Tachi isn't really speaking to me right now. Don't you have family to spend it with?"

"The Akatsuki is my family. Apart from Itachi, no one else has siblings or parents, so it wouldn't matter anyways."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think-"

"It's fine, it's fine. That's the way it's always been. I'm just thankful I have Pein who I'm close to" she says with a small smile.

"You really love him don't you?" I state flippantly.

"N-n-nani?!" she sputters, blush clouding her cheeks, "Why do you say that?!"

"Konan-sempai… you're blushing really badly, plus it's hard not to notice the bond you two share!"

"I… guess so…" _meaning:_ _you got me, but I'm not going to admit defeat just yet._

I smile coyly, "I wonder if I can get my hands on some mistletoe?"

She shrieks, chasing me out of the girl's bathroom, laughing as I limp pathetically from her reach.

"Guy-sensei has done a real number on you, hasn't he?" my eye twitches as I face her, "Don't you worry about Itachi, Akiko-chan. You leave him to me."

When I get back to the group outside, its five minutes before the lunch bell, and all of them – save Gaara who's apparently too many parts cyborg to pant in a sweaty puddle on the floor, and Guy-sensei, who is just inhuman to start with, flop on their backs chest heaving.

In between sucking in gusts of air, Deidara asks where I'd been and _'why the hell did it take you so long, hm?'_

"I just peed a moat, thank you very much."

"Urrgh, too much information, un!"

"You asked, Blondie…" I grumble.

"I thought we agreed to call a truce? Why the name calling, yeah?"

"We agreed on sticking together through this, not pleasantries. Kami Deidara, is there a brain in there or does a flop of blonde hair occupy the space in between your ears?"

"Nice, blonde gags, very original of you…"

"I try" I say sweetly.

"Yeah, you're very trying…Hm" He grumbles, heaving himself up from the floor; knees knocking like a new born foal. When it seems he's going to face plant, I wrap his arm over my shoulder so he can gain his balance. _Don't look at me like that, I can dole out sarcastic comments all I want, but face planting is horrible. Been there, done that, got the mud stained face and a barrage of photographic evidence courtesy of my old school buddies to prove it…_

A sniffing sound turns my attention to Lee and Guy-sensei:

"Such… Such a beautiful display of youthfulness. Comrades in arms!" Guy wails, tears flowing freely down his tanned face.

Lee is not in a better state either; his spandex suit is stained a deeper tone of green from the tears, and he seems to have interpreted my intrepid actions as a declaration of 'love'. _I shudder at the thought of Barbie and I holding hands and running off into the sunset. Lee's probably picturing the perfect ideal family life for me right now. Seems like something he'd do… Hey just call me Ken from now one~! (Gag…)_

Thank Kami the bell rings, and because Guy-sensei's lessons are so labour intensive compared to the other sensei's, we're given the afternoons off to recuperate, so long as we work our arses off in the morning sessions. Lee was complaining the whole time that he'd only managed one hundred and twenty seven laps of the track (Somehow, I feel really lazy in comparison and guilty that he's so focused on this and I'm… _not…_) , and decided to stay behind in the afternoon to 'train' some more. Gaara had_… disappeared_. How? He's got the brightest hair colour compared to the Barbie doll; it's hard not to miss, so how did I miss it leaving?

I drop the noodle-legged Dei at his dorm doorstep, before prancing off to mine, excited to throw myself in the shower and create a slap-up-dinner for my now gurgling stomach. Eighteen laps took it out of me. Plus I sprinted to the bathroom and away from a love-sick sixth former. I have worked up an appetite.

Just as I'm about to take a huge mouthful of cheese and ham on white sliced bread and slug back some orange juice, Anko pops her head round the communal kitchen door saying that I have a 'visitor' waiting at the door. I don't like the smirk she's wearing though. Something tells me that I'm going to be mortified. _My embarrassment sensors are tingling…_

I'm greeted with the sight of a smirking Konan; piecing dancing in amusement below her twisted lips, a grinning Kisame; flashing his sharp teeth in glee, and a stoic Itachi; arms crossed and brow creased.

"Hey gaki!"

"Hiya Kisame-sempai! Konan-sempai! … 'Tachi…"

"Hello again, Akiko-chan." Konan says smugly. _Ooohh… is this payback for the Pein comment earlier? Make an awkward scene between Itachi and I? Creative, I'll give her that~!_

"It has come to my attention that you do not have a place to stay over the Christmas holidays?"

"That would be correct, 'Tachi." I mutter, rubbing a hand down my face, and tucking a lock of recently showered hair behind my right ear.

"You are more than welcome to spend it with us at the Uchiha estate."

"I do not wish to impose on you 'Tachi, I can always stay in a hotel or something…"

"Nonsense, Oka-san would love to see you again!" _Ooh, he's threatening me with the 'I'll get my mother on you' card~!_

"I really don't want to impose on you 'Tachi…" I murmur feebly as he pulls a sleek black smart phone from his trouser pocket and taps it in exploration. When he finds what he's looking for-or rather, _who_ he's looking for, he extends the phone out and puts it on speaker mode so we can all hear:

"_Itachi? What's wrong honey? You hardly ever call me when you're in school…" _The familiar motherly tone of Mikoto-Oba-san floods through the phone to my ears. She sounds like she hasn't changed a bit.

"Ah, well, would you be opposed to having another guest stay with us over Christmas?"

"_Of course not dear! The more the merrier. I tried to get Sasuke to bring some of his friends, but he says that they all have commitments-"_ I wince at this; he just didn't bother asking anyone because he's too afraid of them turning on him… _I'll have to fix that soon..._ _"-But may I ask, who is this friend?"_

"Do you remember Akiko Kobayashi, mother?"

A squeal shoots through the speaker, making Kisame and Konan laugh. I blush a little: "_Little Aki-chan is coming?! Little Akiko you used to play with?! …Am I on speaker phone?"_

"Yes, yes and yes, mother…"

"Hello Mikoto-Oba-san, it's been a while, ne?"

Mikoto-Oba –san squeals again, muttering too quickly for us to discern what shes saying except for a _'I've got to go and do some errands, ja ne!' _at the end. Itachi hastily ends the call and shoves the phone back into his pocket.

"Well… I guess that settles it" Konan says after a while.

"Yeah Gaki, I didn't expect Itachi-san's mother to react that way. Do you evoke that reaction from everyone you know, or something to that effect?" Kisame snorts.

"S'not my fault everyone loves me!" I grin idly at the tall blue sixth former, who smirks and ruffles my hair.

I turn to the elder Uchiha sibling and dip my chin into my chest meekly; "Thank you for offering to let me stay with you all…"

"It's no problem at all; you know we all care for you. You're family… I care for you, Akiko, so if you ever find yourself in trouble, just remember I'm there to help, okay?" Somehow, I can hear the raging restraint from Konan as she tries not to fan-girl squeal. _So this was her game plan, huh? Awkward confession scene?_ It doesn't seem all that romantic though, he's lecturing me like a big brother again…

"Thanks 'Tachi…" I mumble, wrapping my arms around his waist and drawing him in for a hug, which he reluctantly returns.

_Guess I don't have to worry about a place to stay anymore since I'll be staying at the Uchiha estate… with the A-cat-sue-key… which means that I'll have plenty of time to get even with DeiDei… without any authoritative figures (Pshh, Fugaku and Mikoto can lecture me all they like for all I care!) to stop me…_

Something tells me this will be an eventful Christmas.

* * *

**[1] Whenever I watch it, my mum will wander past and mumble "Venison!" and ****_Ka-put~! _**** Instantly blubbing… Bambi's mother dying was pretty upsetting when I was little. Poor Bambi... **

**[2] BLONDIE GOT A HAIR CUT! DON'T SHOOT ME DEIDARA FANS- HIS HAIR IS STILL SEMI-LONG! **

**[3] Influential American painter and icon in the abstract expressionist movement. Known for his unique 'drip' style painitngs.**

**[4] Gotta' love internet memes~!**

**[5] 愛 ****Freaking hate Kanji's…**

**[6] In year ten (tenth grade) my English teacher forced us to study Catch-22 by Joseph Heller because he was a sadistic- ****_anyway_****, not even A-Level students (Grade 12 & 13's) didn't study it at the local college because the students didn't 'get it'. He made us write essays on it for months… I think I was the only one in the class to read it through properly too… :/**

**[7] Yukigakure (The Land of Snow)**

**Ara~! I'm sorry for not updating so quickly, I've been bogged under with Not-so-secret-Santa shopping. For my victim- I mean, person drawn, my Mum ended up crocheting a plushie Kyubey from Puella Magi Madoka Magica, me stuffing it and adding the detailing, chocolate shopping and making an origami bracelet before trying to wrap the buggers. I ended up plugging so many gaps with tape… D'''X **

**She loved her present though… **

**The person who drew my name (My bestie Rachel) got me tickets to go and see Tom Odell live in February. I didn't know whether to cry or shriek bat-shit-crazily at her. (We all opened our presents to gauge each other actions because we won't see each other over Christmas, and today was our last day in school for the term…) **

**I am so made up right now… seriously, I've not stopped twitching since I found out.**

**I should have a Christmassy chappy up next week. Lord knows I've built up the foundations for it in this chapter. Anyone else noticed how I like to bullshit in such a blasé manner when I write? **

**Thank you to all of you who were concerned about my exams: they weren't that bad. My highest result was in English Language for Language and power (A-) which I was chuffed about, seeing as I'm over preforming for where I should be at (which is a C grade; roughly the equivalent to an A* at GCSE level. The gulf in marks and technicality is huge between GCSE and A Level…) **

**Replies to your reviews****:**

**Flaming Door****- It's nice to get visitor reviews, but it sucks because I can only reply to you like this :/ Thanks, I appreciate that you like Break a leg~! **

**What pairing do ****_you_**** think it will be? Heck, I have a generalisation that it would be ItaOC, but what about Deidara… Or Gaara…? (I'm drooling right now; Akiko is such a lucky ducky…) Pfft, maybe not Gaara? But there is definitely an affections war going on right now. The other two bring out different qualities of her, but which one will it be? Who knows? I don't. And I'm writing this damn thing… That's really bad isn't it?**

**Speaking of pairings, who would you pair Akiko up with? **

**I mean, I've got a rough idea of whom, but it could change… maybe… I'd like to know your opinion first- I might ignore it. Then again, I might not. **

**I'm such an indecisive little-**

**Msaju17****_- _****Yes, Akiko is rather embarrassing isn't she? Truthfully, some of these things have happened to me. Like when she slipped on grass. I've done that twice in P.E. We were running cross country, and everyone else managed to get across the mud patch in a dead sprint, but me? Nah, took one step on it and skidded onto my arse. **

**Fun times…**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Zzz" – Sayaka Sasaki

"Party fears II" – The Associates (I love 80's music, I really do~!)

"Lonely Boy" – The Black Keys

"Natsukoi" – SID

**EDIT 21/12/13: Just smoothing out any mistakes, sorry if you got an alert again... Writing the Christmas chapter right now too!**


	8. Chapter 7:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter Seven: I freaking HATE Wham! Songs…~_

* * *

_"You are going where?!" _

"Sakura, if you don't stop screaming over the top of me when I speak, you'll never get an answer…"

Currently, I was rubbing my ear in an attempt to regain my hearing. Sakura, TenTen and Hinata were squatting in my room digesting what I'd told them about my plans for the Christmas holidays. They'd felt a little sorry for me- having been placed in Guy-sensei's extra-curricular class, and brought me a glass of apologetic orange juice for not telling me prior to the event in question so I could have at least stopped myself from pulling that stupid stunt back in Art class and prevented getting thrown in there at all..

I downed the glass in one for Dutch courage. **[1] **I'd need it to get through the rest of the week.

"So, you're going to the Uchiha estate. For Christmas. With the Akatsuki?" The pinkette says slowly.

"…Yeah?"

"And you think that you'll be going with that wardrobe?" she says rather calmly; which is _scary_ for Sakura…

"…I don't see what's wrong with it…" I own a lovely array of jeans and band t-shirts, flannelette pyjamas, high-tops and patterned Christmas jumpers. It wasn't as if I was dragged up, y'know?

"You are going to the Uchiha estate, you need proper clothes!" she explodes, sifting through my wardrobe like a woman possessed, scowling away at the _poor 'ickle clothes_. Hinata and TenTen share a worried glance. "You can't go looked like a street rat!"

"I hate to admit it but she's right…" a quiet voice says.

"Konan-sempai!-" I wave to the older girl in surprise, who's leaning against the open entrance to my room in amusement. My three friends visibly stiffen. "-Wha? Why are you here?"

"Believe it or not, I do live in these dorms too… Haruno-chan is right, the Uchiha's hold a Christmas gathering for their family and a few close friends; formal attire is expected of all the guests."

Sakura is the first to recover from the encounter with the only female A-cat-sue-key member, and sticks her tongue out at me; "Ha! See we're going to have to go shopping!"

"Does… this…. Mean I have to wear a… dress?" I say unsurely with unrestrained horror.

Konan and Sakura grin evilly to one another; "Of course!" they say in unison.

_Well fuck. If I knew this was going to happen I'd go without shelter for two weeks. Heck, I'd change my mind and go to Yuki with my parents… strange though how Sakura was afraid of the A-cat-sue-key before and now she and Konan are best friends… oh wait, they have a common interest: torturing me-_

"Hina-chan! TenTen! Save me! They're conspiring against me!" I whine, stomping my foot on the floor and jumping when someone screeches '_Oi!_' from below.

_Stupid shitty living conditions- I bet a huge chunk of plaster just popped down from the ceiling…_

The two girls just share a knowing glance and swiftly exit my room.

_Well, it's nice to know I'm loved…_

"Haruno-chan, what do you think we should do?"

"Please just call me Sakura, sempai-" _oh yeah, they are definitely hitting it off… _"-and when is it that you leave for the Uchiha's place?"

"We go on Sunday."

"_Really- we do? Oh goody~!"_ I butt in, trying to feign interest in this _dire, dire_ conversation.

"Yes. Now be quiet, we're planning what to do with you!" Konan says sharply.

I gulp because the evil tension surrounding the two of them is growing.

And that can only mean one thing; that my life is going to be hell until Sunday.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, not all girls enjoy being girly. Shocking I know.

It's not as if I'm denying my sex, just that I don't like the connotations that come pre-wrapped at birth when your parents find out your gender. How many times I have challenged these set regulations is astounding...

When I was little for example; whenever I went to play with Itachi and Sasuke, I'd be the one coming home caked in mud head to toe and sporting multiple bruises, cuts, scrapes and nettle stings inflicted by the crueller, younger Uchiha purposely pushing me into mud patches and into direct contact of huge nettle settlements. My parents were always a little ashamed when they came to pick me up, because Mikoto-Oba-san would fill them in on our antics, and then on the forty-minute drive home I'd get a lecture on how I should have been born a boy or that I needed to take care of myself because I was- and I quote-unquote, _'a little lady'_. But these rules work for most people, so I'll just stick to being the freak of nature I always have been, and let me tell you, freaks of nature that usually wear pyjama's and a semi-clean band-tee on a good day are not supposed to be standing in a boutique wearing a dress and heels, trying to cover the cleavage she has to display with her arms:

"You look fine!" Konan tries to assure me, and I stick my bottom lip out childishly. She's been trying to pry my arms away from my sides for the last fifteen minutes.

"Sempai's right! I didn't know you had boobs, Aki-chan!" Sakura squeals happily. _Why does she sound so happy about that?_

"Of course I have boobs; I'm a woman for Christ sake!" I huff, unwrapping one of the arms constricting my chest and tucking a stray piece of hair that had escaped from my usual braid behind my ears, before tightly wrapping my arms around me again, "Just because your jealous of my chest doesn't mean you need to suggest I look like a man!"

Okay, so that was a tad petty of me- it's not my fault Sakura's chest is as flat as an airport runway, and she's right, I doesn't look like I have boobs sometimes because I wear such baggy clothes apart from my school uniform. I'm not saying anything, I've not been heavily endowed like Hinata has, but let's just say, I wouldn't drown if it came to that. As for the petty insults? Well I've been dragged round so many shops I've lost count, and all of this wardrobe-transplant-crap is getting on my nerves.

I'd spent the most of extra-curricular week jogging laps and hiding in the girl's bathroom farthest away from the running track. Deidara wasn't speaking to me again because I'd left him on his own to fend off the green and youthful duo, plus Gaara; the blonde wouldn't admit it, but he was just as scared of that guy as I was- Subaku mostly kept to himself, giving the occasional homicidal glare now and again when we got too close. I didn't really know what to think of him. He scared me… that was definite. There was one point in the week though, when I managed to simultaneously trip, forward roll, stand back up and proceed to kick a dust cloud into my face, and I could have _sworn_ I saw him _smile._ I was a bit dizzy though, so it could have been my eyes playing tricks on me.

When Saturday morning arrived however, I was awoken by Sakura bouncing on my bed screaming _'wake up we're going shopping!'_ down my ear hole (how I'm not deaf by now astounds me…) and Konan ripping the cocooned covers off my pyjama clad frame – which resulted in me spinning towards the floor with a thump and another disgruntled '_Oi!_' from the tenant below my room.

I never knew it before – mostly because it involved me reading the school handbook (which was situated forgotten in a draw somewhere in my room…) but we were allowed off campus on a Saturday and Sunday as long as it was authorised by our dorm head. Anko wasn't arsed, so that was how I ended up bundled into a private car half-dressed and on the way to the closest town. I had only seen Hinata as I was abducted, and the timid girl was threatened into submission not to help me by the pinkette. My Hyūga buddy's eyes shined with sympathy as I was dragged away though. _These two obviously planned this beforehand because they a strict schedule_-

"That's it, Akiko! We're getting that dress! It's final!" Sakura commands, pointing at my fabric clad body.

_Can I even call it a dress? It's… short. _

Okay, so it was short for _me_. Itwas black, a chunky metal zip running down my back in bronzed colour, with a sweet heart neckline (hence why I was trying to conceal my chest…) and a fit that hugged all the niggling places on my body that I was proud about and others that I wasn't so prideful of. The dress in question reached just above my knees; and for someone who doesn't show her legs often (school skirts, tights, and pyjama shorts _don't _count!) I felt a bit uncomfortable.

_I lied, I feel very uncomfortable… And wobbly. -That was the heels doing!_

Konan said I needed to stop being a baby and that I needed to stop walking like a retarded duck in my new shoes. I felt rather insulted, I mean, it's not my fault I'm coordination-ally challenged...

My blue haired sempai donned a pair of heels, and strutted round the clothing shop in example for me to follow. When she was done, smiling with a hand on her hip, I heard a faint round of applause from the staff behind the till. I scowled at them. Then it was my turn, I sucked in a deep breath and promptly fell into the nearest shoe display.

Konan and Sakura decided it wasn't safe for me to wear heels ever again, and got me some supposedly 'accident free' flats that had a wedged sole, so that I still looked sophisticated without walking like confused poultry, then hastily nudged me towards the till so I could pay for my stuff and go.

They'd fleeced me of a chunk of my allowance so I would 'presentable' in front of Itachi's family.

_I don't see why though, Mikoto-Oba-san always knew I was one for wearing jeans and a t-shirt…_

My shopping bags consisted of the dress for the Christmas ball, the flats, several new shirts and girlish-tops, and a few skirts that once I got back from the winter break would never ever venture out of my wardrobe again, unless a similar situation arose or I had to lock Sakura up again.

When we got back, they coerced me into packing my holdall for the duration of my stay with them watching over my effort, not trusting me to do it for myself in fear I left my new purchases behind to spite their hard work.

By then, I'd had enough and my petty remark meter was reaching its peak, before I knew it, I was launching an assault of _'Do you, like, __**totally,**__ love Pein?_' missiles at my sempai. Sakura sucked in a breath and sat back against my chest of draws, taking a break from packing my bag to watch our exchange.

Konan glared frostily at me, before retaliating with; _"What about Itachi? I could say the same thing about him." _To which, I sputtered, blushing profusely, and replied that Itachi was like a brother to me, and that he saw me as his little sister, and that would be like incest, which would be wrong. She just smirked knowingly at me before dismissing herself and Sakura from my dorm room, stating she'd be back to pick me up in the morning.

* * *

I got stuck between my childhood friend and my new foe during the journey to the Uchiha estate.

It was, to say the least, an unpleasant experience, despite the luxurious mode of transportation that had arrived to cart us off to Itachi's home.

Deidara still had his knickers in a twist over the extra-curricular nightmare, so wouldn't even care to acknowledge my existence. I found his actions extremely petty despite the fact that roughly twelve hours earlier I'd been playing the same card with Sakura and Konan.

The latter of the two was smugly sitting across from me in the limo, a _(surprise, surprise!)_ bored Sasori to her left and Pein on her right. When I had raised my eyebrow, implying what I had said prior, she flushed, shook her head a wafted her hand inconspicuously to my side of the vehicle, mouthing what looked like a subtle _'love triangle~!'_.

She could have been saying something else though, because I suck at lip-reading.

_Yeah, let's just stick with my sucky lip reading skills, and not the former~! _

Whatever she had mouthed, I still shrank back into the limo's leather seat; which creaked rather awkwardly. Itachi sent me a confused glance, but I chose to ignore it and the growing grin that was splitting the female A-cat-sue-key's face.

Sasuke was also in the car, but sat up front in the passenger seat, much to the surprise of the chauffeur; I'm guessing that not only does Sasuke not mix well with his older brother; his brother's friends are also exiled from his buddy list. I felt a little sorry for him to be honest, because except me no one he really knew was here, but then I remembered all the crap I'd learnt Hina-chan had gone through for him and his barstool-ic behaviour, and then I didn't care so much.

The tension and awkward silence in that car journey though was suffocating. When we finally arrived on the Uchiha estate, I nearly kissed the paved driveway in relief when the limo door was opened.

I didn't though, and we piled through the entrance into the hallway, following Itachi as he led us to the main drawing room.

The house was just as I remembered it to be; the exterior came off as an imposing fortress – synonymous to the wealth and status of the Uchiha clan, the grey blocked bricks, chunky and protecting, stain glass windows set in arched frames inspired by the like's Romanesque architecture, and ivy crawling over the face of the house.

The inside was opulent, long dark hallways with stained murky oak flooring and red flocked wallpaper oozing extravagance, various pieces of priceless artwork hung on the wall set in ostentatious frames. They could afford it though; the Uchiha's owned shares of oil companies across the world, and you can bet your hat that the majority of flammable substances would have that little fan marked trade mark placed on its packaging somewhere. **[2]**

When we've all assembled into the drawing room, I'm granted with the sight of three figures of the past-

Itachi kisses his mother on the cheek, disrupting her from the knitting she's currently wresting with a start. Fugaku-Oji-san isn't even bothering to look up from his newspaper, and Uncle Madara is inspecting his flawless visage_ (he should be like forty, so how he looks twenty-eight is beyond me…) _in the back of a metal spoon. He must have got bored after eating, judging from the array of pudding cups that are surrounding him on the leather couch.

_Vain mother fucke-_

"Itachi!" Mikoto-Oba-san squeals, knitting forgotten, "Sasuke! " she says dragging her youngest in for a swift hug, "Tobi," she pulls him in for an embrace, smiling wide as he grips her back before joining Uncle Maddy on the couch, "Oh! And it's nice to see you all too!" she says gesturing to the A-cat-sue-key. From where I'm hidden (behind, Hidan, Kakuzu and Kisame, three of the tallest human meat-shields ever…) I smile, knowing that she hasn't changed a bit from her caring self, even if her husband and the rest of the elders of the family are somewhat up themselves. The cogs are turning in the fierce mothers head, and I know she's searching for one more person:

"Where is she, Itachi? Where is she? Don't tell me she couldn't make it after all!" Itachi rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, and I hear Kisame chuckle before pushing me forwards.

_Some meat-shield you are!_

"Oh! Ara! Akiko? Akiko Kobayashi?!" I nod, and am promptly tackled, "Haven'tyougrownupsinceIlastsawyou!HowareyourparentsIheardaboutthelotterywinareyouokay- Itachi! Whydidn'tyoutellmeshewasthiscute?!" Itachi looked a little flustered to say the least, and the A-cat-sue-key members were a bit weirded out by her outburst.

_Holy shit I though Sakura was bad, if she constricts her arms any more my head will pop off!_

"Kobayashi?" A dark voice says from around printed paper, and I untangle myself from Mikoto-Oba-sans grips to speak to him.

"Nice to see you again Sir. I've grown since the last time you saw me, but if you feel the need you can bounce me on your knee like you used to?" I said cleverly, trying to break the ice. He did do that once, when I walked into a cupboard door he'd left open, felt guilty and tried hopping me around on his knees to stop the obnoxious cries of pain. Too bad I wasn't three, otherwise that would have worked. He hated it whenever I came round for play-dates after that.

Despite the fractious laughter filling the room, I knew I'd unnerved him a little (he obviously didn't expect me to remember _that _incident) and perhaps embarrassed the almighty Fugaku Uchiha.

The grip on his newspaper was strained.

* * *

A few days before Christmas Eve and the Uchiha Christmas ball, I realised I'd completely forgotten to arrange a gift for my hosts, and the A-cat-sue-key members. Not that I expected them to get me anything, but I felt guilty none the less.

Mikoto-Oba-san had proposed over breakfast that we go into the local town this afternoon because they were running a Christmas market, and she wanted to buy ingredients for gingerbread. They had a chef and kitchen staff, so why she needed to go and get it herself perplexed me, but I've learnt from a young age in the frozen section with a bag of peas never to question these confusing events in life and to just go with it. Probably that philosophy is why strange occurrences only happen to _me_…

That was how Deidara, Itachi, Tobi, Konan, Kisame, Mikoto-Oba-san and I ended up clinging to the inside of the limo for dear life (the rest of the A-cat-sue-key and Sasuke had opted out of coming with us). For some Kami-forsaken reason, over the last couple of days it had decided to _snow._ I'm not talking about the pidly efforts that melt into slush after five minutes; I'm talking about huge drifts that can swallow you whole, and compacts dangerously into a bob-sled run after a few days. The journey this time was filled with silent prayers, shrill girly screams (surprisingly from some of the boys and the driver…) when we had a close call and hit a patch of un-gritted road, and the potent scent of fear. It seriously stank back there…

We were all thankful to be alive, but gulped when we realised we'd have to drive back _in the dark_ scared us shitless collectively; even Kisame, who I knew was probably the strongest willed out of all of us, turned a lighter hue of blue.

_I wonder, if he freezes, does he turn to a normal (define normal?) skin colour? What about when he tans, does he turn navy blue? _

When we'd reached our destination, unintentionally or not, the crowd separated us without mercy, and I found myself isolated with Deidara.

"'Okay, first: find your exit buddy! Do you have your exit buddy?'" I ask, clinging to his arm.

"Did you just quote Finding Nemo, un?"

"Kami! It _speaks!" _

"What, yeah?"

"You haven't spoken to me, I thought we had a beautiful friendship starting?" _no I've totally not given up on revenge, but if I can get him to trust me first, that'll be an almighty bonus~! _

"You ditched me… _to spandex clad people!" _he hisses.

"I'm so sorry about that an all, but when I run, it makes me need to pee…"

"That is something I did not need to know, yeah…"he says, puffing air out of his cheeks. It forms a frosty little crowd before dispersing. _It's like I'm watching a dragon…_ I think as he repeats the action.

"Ne, Deidei, 'wanna help me with my Christmas shopping?" I ask cutely, gripping to his arm tighter as we push through the bustling crowd.

"It's not as if I have a choice, is it? And don't call me that"

"Nope! And you know you love it~!" he groans and I know I've won.

It feels so Christmassy in the air round here. They'd styled the market off of the traditional little wood cabins associated with Christmas and Santa Clause, wrapping twinkling lights round the edges of the stall for extra magical effect. It probably helped that it had snowed so much, because it looked like a scene from a Christmas move with all the people milling round going about their business. If the sky hadn't spewed frozen rain then it wouldn't be nearly be as aesthetically prized.

True to his word, he doesn't leave me, instead trawls after me as I find little stocking fillers for my hosts and fellow guests. I'm extremely proud of some of the things I've gotten for them, thanks to some guidance from Barbie doll. I now knew that Kakuzu had an unhealthy relationship with money, so bought him a painted gold piggybank. I already knew that Hidan had a potty mouth, so bought him the most explicit CD on the music stall I'd found (the owner looked glad to be rid of it, he didn't even question whether it was for me or a gift, he was that overjoyed…). Konan would receive some oriental themed origami paper, because I'm lovely like that, and the others would have to do with varied knickknacks I'd picked up from the stalls. I knew Pein would appreciate his gift because I'd gotten him a coffee mug with 'THE BOSS' printed in bold letters on the side. I didn't know, however, if Sasuke would be pleased with a couple packets of _'grow-your-own-tomato-plant'_ seeds and a plastic plant pot. I thought it was quite clever of me to be honest…

I'd also managed to scrounge some wrapping paper and a _'Christmas essentials'_ hamper (shortbread, continental Sake and some whacked-out cinnamon scented candles) for Mikoto-Oba-san, Fugaku-Oji-san and Uncle Maddy with my dwindling allowance money. Let's face it, one of them was bound to appreciate at least one thing in there, and I guessed the candles would be distributed to Mikoto-Oba-san, the Shortbread to Uncle Maddy (seems like having a sweet tooth is common in the Uchiha lineage: except for Sasuke, but he never was normal…) leaving Fugaku-Oji-san to go be _'Bah Humbug'_ in his office and drown his woes with Sake.

"Are you done yet?" Barbie doll whined for what seemed to be the sixtieth time.

"Yuppers, what time is it?"

He checks his phone, "Quarter past six…"

"Really?"

"Yeah, un." Mikoto-Oba-san had said that as long as we were back to the limo for seven, we'd be fine, but I don't think she'd counted on us getting separated. It was getting quite nippy out too, my nose was going numb and bright red- I inspected it going cross-eyed for a moment, then huddled down deeper into the woollen coat and scarf if layered myself in when we left the house earlier. "Do you want to go and get some hot chocolate, hm? It's getting cold out…" Deidara does his dragon impression for me again and I laugh.

"You just read my mind!"

So we go and find a vendor, pay for our beverages, and watch under the little wooden stalls canopy as it starts to snow again. They've got flipping Christmas music playing in the back ground, and I make a face. _It's that god awful Wham! song…_ It's been at least five times now while we've been walking round, and quite frankly, it's getting on my nerves.

I take an angry slurp of my hot choc, and choke as it burns the back of my throat. It's one of those nice blends of hot chocolate, the stuff made of chocolate chunks not instant cocoa powder, and they'd even put whipped cream and marshmallows on the top for extra influence.

_Chocolatey goodness…. Mmmmm….. _ I did wonder however how they managed to pile it all in the disposable cup I was wrapping my hands around without spilling the contents or it overflowing during the process of assembly. _It's a skill! It must be!_

"You know, this has to be the best idea and moment I have ever had the privilege to share with you Mr Iwa…"

"I'm guessing you like hot chocolate then, yeah?"

"Not as much as I like tea, but this is some good shit!" he barks a laugh, and I'm beginning to question if I'm wrong about how I perceive him, and that I should embrace this new kindled truce more and forget about the whole topless incident?

"**_Wa-hey_**!" some randomer screeches, pointing above Blondie and I's heads. I'm a bit scared to look up, it's like one of those tricks people play on you; _'your shoes untied' - _when you know very well that you've got Velcro fastening shoes on at that moment in time.

But I look up anyway…

…And regret it…

…Because the biggest bunch of mistletoe is hanging above our heads…

…And _Wham!'s 'Last Christmas'_ is still playing in the background…

I nearly drop my hot chocolate when Deidara no Iwa kisses me smack on the lips, and all I can think, is: _I freaking HATE Wham! songs! _Before my mind ceases to function at all and the delicious hot choc comes a cropper, tumbling out of the paper cup, raw and on show for the rest of the world to see. **[3]**

* * *

Itachi's sick.

I was banking for him to be a pillar of support for me during the Christmas ball, seeing as Konan would be too busy sucking face with Pein or whatever it is that people in denial do, Sasuke was being a sulky little Uchiha boy and preoccupied himself with making his hair look even more like a chickens rear end. The A-cat-sue-key I didn't know all too well; Tobi would suffocate me with hugs before the night would end, Sasori would make me feel uncomfortable and the rest (yes, even Kisame) scared me. Plus I wasn't exactly on speaking terms with Deidara. We've tactfully been trying to avoid each other since _that _happened and the car journey home when the limo skidded and I ended up on his lap. _That was mortifying… _

So I was flying solo and ready to make myself look like a right old tit in the shoes and dress I was coerced into buying. Itachi just had to get sick on Christmas Eve and right on the day of the annual Uchiha Christmas ball. Apparently, he'd caught a chill from walking round the market in search of our ensemble hoping to team up to get back to the car park. _Silly boy…_

After Fugaku-Oji-san's _'welcome, welcome'_ speech that droned on for what seemed like hours, I decided the buffet spread couldn't handle me picking at it all night and didn't deserve my awesomeness (mostly because there were quite a few culinary dishes I didn't recognise and politely refused when the footmen bobbed round with little samples of each, because I didn't trust it not to be a Bush-tucker trial) , excused myself around half eleven, and wandered back up to my room, kicking off the ridiculous shoes as I went.

I was changing into my pyjamas (Sakura had forced me to take a silk pair I'd gotten as a gift a while back, because my comfy flannel pj's were not 'mandatory' according to her…) after struggling to pull the zip down and relieve myself of the dress when the knock came at the door to the room Konan and I were sharing. It had a double bed and an en-suit, so we were both smitten with it, and decided that we could both take half of the bed each. She doesn't snore or kick in her sleep, so it's all good. _Did catch her mumbling about a certain pierced ginger at some Kami-forsaken hour a few days back though…_

"Come in!" I yelp, grabbing a hair brush off of the side board and yanking it through my hair.

"Hey, un…"

"Oh… it's you…" I narrow my eyes at the blonde.

"Yeah… it's me, yeah…" there's an awkward pause where the only noise shattering the silence is me ragging the brush through my hair and '_meep'-_ing when I find a knot and drag through it.

"Listen about the other day…?" Barbie doll looks a little shifty, so I keep brushing and go off in search of a hair band.

"It's fine, Deidara. It was only a silly mistletoe tradition. It didn't mean anything, so there's nothing to worry about, right?" I say tiredly.

It takes him a while to answer, I watch him swallow harshly, Adams apple bobbing below the smart shirt he'd been wearing for the ball. "…Yeah, it's nothing."

"Let's just put it past us, okay?" _I'll never forgive you for making me drop my hot chocolate though… I may ever taste its likeness again… Funny though, that kiss tasted like hot chocolate- And he had whipped cream on his nose… wait, no, what are you thinking?! – _I shake my head to clear it of distracting thoughts, and fumble by my holdall for Deidara's Christmas present; which cunningly, I had managed to buy without him noticing at the Christmas market. I know were supposed to be mortal enemies at the moment, but I'm not so cruel as to get his friends a Christmas presents and leave him out. Rather like Itachi, it was obvious the two didn't get along, but he still invited Deidei round for the winter holidays, because he's a civil person, or he's been brought up that it was just proper decorum to do as such like I was, seeing as I was supposed to be a _'lady' _and all.

"Merry Christmas, Dei!" and I chuck the present to him.

"Thanks…? Yeah."

"Great~!" I grab another parcel, "I'm 'gonna go check on Itachi~!" And I leave Deidara standing in the doorway to my shared room in confusion.

Finding the elder Uchiha brother's room turned out to be a little frustrating. There are that many chambers and secret hidden passages in his home that can't help but feel directionally challenged, but somehow, I managed to find it. Maybe it was the plaque that said '_Itachi's room' _in engraved letters that gave the game away…. It easily could have just been my epic exploring skills?

_Knock knock~! _

A weak cough and '_Come in'_ is sounded behind the thick door, so I tug on the huge brass doorknob a battle my way past the barrier.

"Hey…" I say with a little wave.

Itachi coughs again, "Hello. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were feeling, and came here to give you this!" I say with sparkling eyes, magically conjuring his present from behind my back.

The raven haired boy is silent under his duvet and convers, but I know he's frowning. _I can just feel it…_

"You should go back now then; you could catch it off me…" his voice is more nasal that usual, but that's just the effect of his cold.

"Nu-uh! 'Tachi, you're sick, you need someone to care for you~!" and with that, I crawl under his covers, "Kami! You're freezing Itachi!"

"That tends to happen when you get a cold…" he says sarcastically.

"Still see the Uchiha have a sense of humour…" I hum, snuggling a little closer in an attempt to warm him up. A pale arm wraps around my waist as he turns on his side to face me, and I get a flashback of when I was little again; we'd do this whenever he was ill and I was visiting. "You always did have a delicate constitution, 'Tachi…"

"I haven't heard you call me that in years."

"Nani?"

"''Tachi'" he chuckles, but it sounds so restrained in his ill state.

"But I've been doing it for a while… No I haven't, I've been doing it in my head…" I mutter, and he laughs as best as he can without suffocating.

I close my eyes and doze for a bit, breathing evening out, and I feel him do the same. When I open my eyes again, it's a minute past midnight on Christmas morning.

Slowly, the elder Uchiha brothers eyes peel open, glinting under the illumination of his bed side lamp. He has a coughing bout, for a lot longer this time. Worried, I push upright ready to swing out of his bed and into action.

"Itachi do you want me to go and get someone?"

He coughs and shakes his head.

"Do you want some water?"

"-No-!" he wheezes out.

"What do you want Itachi? What can I do? Should I go and find some medicine?" I'm panicking, because it sounds like he isn't breathing properly. He just shakes his head, and after a few minutes, the fit passes. I settle back down into the wooden head board of his double bed. I shiver as the cool material hits exposed flesh not covered by my pyjamas.

"… There's one thing…"

"Go on?"

"Will you answer me one question?" _how can I deny you that when you almost choked to death on your own mucus?_

_"…_Sure."

He takes a deep breath; "Why did Deidara kiss you?"

_He saw that?! Oh shoot me! I thought no one would find out, and it'd be a dirty little secret to keep buried until I can claim harassment charges!-_

"M-mistletoe-hot chocolate-everywhere-s-s-stupid passer-by…" I know I'm flushing. I think my face may have gone redder than Hinata's current record. Somehow, he always knows how to perturb me, and I fall part stuttering and blushing like a fiend predictably.

_How could he have seen me, I double checked for Konan popping up and making my life hell, so how in Kami's name did I miss him lurking about?!_

"…?"  
"Mistletoe. It didn't… _mean anything_… Just a stupid tradition. I'd rather not talk about it to be honest, and I don't think he wants to either. We resolved it earlier." I shrug.

"Good." _Eh? _He sounds oddly smug, but seeing as its twenty past twelve, I'm going to ignore it and go back to sleep; focus my efforts on being a human heater for my old friend.

When an arm wraps around my waist and hunkers me down under the thick covers and sheets, I comply, feeling safe and snug. When it clenches round me for dear life and almost crushes my ribs, I don't wince. I smile, because it's just like the good old days with my childhood friend, even if I question his liability as the 'big brother' figure in my life nowadays.

"Hey, 'Tachi?" I mumble sleepily.

"Yes?"

"Don't forget to open your present…"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He chuckles, and I smile softly with a yawn, knowing he means it.

There's a soft press of lips against my forehead before I welcome sleep.

* * *

**[1] Yes, orange juice instead of alcohol. Funnily enough, while all the other British teens are getting plastered on cheap cider (Pfft! Stereotypes!) I don't drink. At all. Call me boring if you wish, I just do not like the stuff… :( **

**I drink tea like I have a problem though… damn, another stereotype…**

**[2] Bow down to my intelligent interweaving plots! Uchiha's + Fire Jutsus = AU fan fic where Uchiha's work with flammable products. Genius, ne? **

**[3] Oh ****I JUST LOVE**** writing scenes like this! I'M SOOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEVVVILLLL!**

**I'm sorry; I'm just writing evil little chapters at the moment aren't I?**

**I mentioned last time about parings, and got some interesting comments. Most people seem in favour of Itachi, but I feel like shaking it up a tad in the future, so who knows what may happen? **

**Yeah, I'm bad at planning my chapters. **

**While some fics that I've read have been written in advance, or take months to get the next chapter out, and have a fancy-smancy Beta, I don't do any of those things.**

**Usually, I have an idea for what my chapter leads up to (In this case, Mistletoe and the cuddles scene…) and the rest is based around it. Plus, if I make mistakes, I usually read and read and read it through again until I get most of them sorted or I feel sick from scanning my work so much. They're usually down to the fact that when I get the chance to sit down a write, it's the end of the week, college life has sucked the life out of me, and it's past one in the morning, so I'm lucid. I like writing at night, there's none one to disturb me. Hence why most of chapters are published at like 3am, this being an exception.**

**Speaking of school, we had a year seven girl sit with us one lunchtime, and she was struggling with the light switches (don't ask…) in the room we sit in for din-dins… I went to help her and she freaked and said my irises were red (trick of the light- it's done it before and I actually scared myself when I looked in the mirror and saw it for the first time) instead of brown (Great, now you know my eye colour~!) to which I laughed evilly. Scared, she ran off to tell all her friends, while mine were used to this display of pure idiocy and continued eating. **

**…Such lovely people I associate with… (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻**

**Merry Christmas to you all~! May you not pull and Akiko and have a random encounter with Velcro shoes, mistletoe and hot choc~! I won't judge if you do though~!**

**And a Happy New Year if I don't update before then, too!**

**REPLIES TO YOUR REVIEWS****-**

**Guest-**** I do feel sorry for Akiko having to go through 'youthfulness', but seeing as I'm an author and imagination is my weapon, I can do sadistic things like that for shits and giggles. It's so fun~!**

**Msaju17-****'Tis no problem at all. I did reply to you, but thought; meh, lets write again in this bit of my A/N: … One of my friends (we call her Tiddles, well I do at least...) is insanely good with sports and math. I'm coordinate-ally challenged and maths is a different language to me altogether. Though I guess she could say the same for me about English and Art. **

**Replies to the guest that left a review on my One-shot 'Windows' that I'm hoping decided to read this story and will see this too:**

**Jess-**** I may go back and rewrite it so that it's longer than 2000 words. I think it deserves ten thousand at least. You never know what the future will hold. I'm also thinking of revamping RPG sometime in the near distant future. That should be my new year's resolution. I never stick to them so I don't bother making them anymore. It's the same with lent too… sad really… **

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Jisatsu Bushi" ("Suicide song") – Hatsune Miku (For Akiko having to go shopping… If the shoe fits, _y'know?_)

"Fool" – B1A4 (Such a cute song~!)

"Hana wa Sakura Kimi wa Utsukushi" – Ikimono Gakari

"Last Christmas" – Wham! (I loathe Christmas songs most of the time, but this is correlating with my current soundtrack for this chappy, so I'll leave it be~!)

"White Winter Hymnal" – Fleet Foxes (Such a beautiful song… (This is for Itachi and Akiko's last scene of the chapter…))


	9. Chapter 8:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter eight: Kudos to you, Akiko for putting your foot in it…~_

* * *

While we gather in the Uchiha family household's drawing room on Christmas morning, clutching silver wrapped parcels courtesy of Mikoto-Oba-san, Itachi is nowhere to be seen.

It's kind of lonely without him here; he's the type of person that says little, but you are comfortable with him just being there- and when he isn't there, a gap appears that isn't plugged with his presence. But I'm guessing he's giving Sasuke some space, seeing as the latter in question is staring disdainfully at the gift I got him, his eye twitching.

Konan looked rather smug this morning whenever she locked eyes with me. After searching for me when I didn't come back to my room last night, she checked every room in the house and eventually found me _'snuggling' _with 'Tachi.

The make in question opened his present, took one look at it, and laughed hoarsely, lifting it up between his finger and thumb and inspecting it. I'd gotten him a dango-stick-shaped phone charm, slightly lame I know, but it was cute, so I couldn't help myself.

The A-cat-sue-key were all slightly alarmed I'd gotten them a present each, but accepted it none the less.

"Where the fuck did you find this?" Hidan said, waving the cd in my face.

"Language!" Kakuzu snipped, smacking his round the head with one hand and cradling the money box I got him in the other.

"Fu-f-f-f-_eff you! _Kakuzu!" the silver haired teen said, after catching a glare from the one-and-only Fugaku Uchiha, who certainly didn't tolerate uncouth language in his household.

I shrugged at Hidan, "I guessed you'd enjoy something like that, so picked it up when we went shopping the other day."

"But this is one of the fu-freaking hardest cd's to get hold of. I've been looking for this album for fu-effing ages! Jashin damnit!" he says in frustration, trying to control his… _colourful lexis._

Zetsu seemed a little confused as to why I'd given him a thick pair of gardening gloves, until I told him I was informed he worked with plants. In a grouchy, twisted tone, he growled _'cannabis plants'_ and excused himself, saying he was '_going for a smoke'_. The rooms tensions was a little strained after that, even Fugaku-Oji-san had his nose upturned at Zetsu's… _habits.._. My eye was twitching, knowing that when we went back to school I'd be sitting next to an unpredictable junkie.

Konan gave me a sharp hug, saying she's been running low on her patterned papers before retreating to sit next to Pein. I was somewhat shocked at the gesture, but a smirk lifted one side of my lips when I saw what he'd gotten her for a gift. Origami was Konan's forte I had learnt, and the almighty Head boy of Sixth form had made paper flowers for his female counterpart.

_How cute~!_

She blushed when he handed her the bouquet, and with a grin plastered on my face, I excused myself to go and find Itachi, wondering if he wanted some company. Mikto-Oba-san helpfully added he'd gone out for a wander round the grounds to get some fresh air. True, because he'd been stuffed up in his room for Kami knows how long being ill and all.

Shrugging on a thick coat and some wellingtons I found by the back door that must have belonged to Mikoto-Oba-san judging from the floral pattern, I wandered out into the snow littered garden, following a trail of footsteps. Hopping into each track daintily, so as to not create another set, watching as my foot never filled the gap Itachi's shoes had left, I caught up to him quickly. He'd wandered to the hill we used to play on as kids, standing as a small black dot on a wide open white canvas; head tipped back surveying the snow-heavy-pregnant clouds.

"Hey!" I shout and wave, gathering his attention from the sky. I scramble up the mound and stand beside him.

"What are you doing out here?" he says, watching as I puff out my breath like a dragon. _ I should really stop doing that; it'll drag up bad memories… _

"Thought you might want some company" I shrug.

"And…?"

"And what?"

"There has to be something else you wanted… I know you Akiko…"

"Too well I might add, are you psychic?" he chuckles knowingly.

"What is that you wanted then?"

I shuffle uncertainly, overturning a pile of snow with the toe of my left wellington boot and eyeing as the powdered substance flutters back down to the ground like a miniature blizzard scene in a snow globe, "Ano… I wanted to know… why… Sasuke… why Sasuke and you don't get along anymore. He was so angry when I first ran into him… Stopped me from asking how you were…"

"Ah… it's simple really." I raise an eyebrow at him, "Well, the Uchiha are prized for running a successful company, ne?" I nod, "Sasuke said he really wanted to inherit it when he was younger, but of course, my father only acknowledged me, the first born to be the heir, because of my … _intelligence_, this only made it worse." _And I thank Kami every day that I wasn't born into a situation like there's. I hate to sound horrible, but before the lottery win; my parents weren't all that bad. We got by, and we certainly didn't squabble over things like this. I can understand why Fugaku-Oji-san would choose Itachi: he's the first born, so the obvious candidate, but I can tell he'd feel burdened with such a responsibility. All 'Tachi wanted when he was little was to be a wallflower. Sasuke just views it as being inferior to his older brother, whereas Itachi sees it as a sacrificial act to stop his little brother from growing up to fast like he had to… such opposites…_

"So he's jealous of you?" I ask, wanting his confirmation on my earlier mental theory.

"Something like that, I guess. I think it's mostly because father pays little attention to his efforts that he's grown up bitter." _I was right…_

"Is that why you're out here right now, then? You're giving him the limelight and missing out with your family and friends for him?"

"You always were too perceptive, even as a child." He sounds as if he doubted my intelligence for a moment then.

"You've always been a selfless baka, but I don't pull you up on it, do I?" I say, smiling playfully and smacking him on the arm. He smirks, and rummages in his coat pockets, pulling out that sleek black phone _with a dango charm attached! _ My smile widens.

"We'd better go back in, Oka-san said we'd be having breakfast at around ten today…"

"Hmm… there's one more thing I'd like to know though."

"Shoot."

"I haven't seen Shisui-nii-san anywhere." Itachi stiffens at the name of his cousin and I can tell I've just wandered into dangerous territory.

"Did nobody tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I ask, dumbfounded by his three-sixty turn of behaviour.

"…Shisui… he… _died_."

"NANI?!" _not Shisui-nii? Surely not? He was the only Uchiha I knew who didn't have a stick stuck up his backside apart from Mikoto-Oba-san and her two children…_

"He committed suicide a while back…" Itachi says slowly, _painfully_, "Left a note saying he couldn't take much more of how the company was running."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I just-"

"It's fine, nobody told you." _But that doesn't mean I don't feel terrible for dragging up a topic you're obviously not okay with retracing 'Tachi… _"Anyway" he continues, moulding his practiced face back into a neutral posture, "I never did get to give you your gift, did I?"

"You didn't have to get me anything 'Tachi, you know that. You've already helped me out enough by giving me a place to stay." I say, still feeling dreadful.

"I wanted to though, and Oka-san said I should, so you won't deny a mothers demands, would you?"

I smile slightly, imagining Mikoto-Oba-san lecturing her eldest son about buying and giving gifts.

Itachi produces a slim navvy box with a large silver bow and gift tag stuck to it hastily, and hands it to me. I read the tag: _To Akiko, Merry Christmas, Love from Itachi. _

_How sweet… _

Prying open the lid of the box, I gasp, watching dim light dance off a slender silver necklace chain; a small curling leaf pendant hanging from a crook in the interweaving links.

"It… it's so _pretty_… Thank you…" I say in wonder and shock, forgetting how shallow calling it _'pretty'_ resonances. It's too delicate for that, it deserves a greater description applied to its beauty. But I'm that dumbstruck I don't know what else to say…

"Only the best for autumn's child **[1]**" Itachi says softly.

"It completely blows my gift out of the water now…" I state sadly, looking up at the raven haired adolescent besides me.

"I happen to like my gift, thank you very much, so I will be keeping it, if you don't mind." I giggle, thinking of how many incredulous looks from his peers the Sixth former will get when he next goes to answer a call.

Mikoto-Oba-san is by the back door, waving madly as if to beckon us back into the house. I slip my hand into Itachi's as we make our move down the snowy bank and towards the heating system and creature comforts of his home, the cool winter's breeze nipping at our heels as we go.

* * *

**[1] Akiko: 秋 ****(aki) "autumn" combined with 子 ****(ko) "child" **

**Kobayashi: Kobayashi 小林 ****"small forest" (It's the 9****th**** most common surname in Japan~!) **

**I bet you're thinking, you only just updated the other day. Well you've got another, shorter, intimate chapter. This is the last of the Christmassy ones, the next update I have will feature our heroine back in that loveable school. Plus, this has been in my head since I updated yesterday...**

**Enjoy your Christmas, young grasshoppers...**

**Until next time, over and out, fruitloops~! **

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"I know" – Tom Odell (I'll see you in February Tom~! _SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!_)


	10. Chapter 9:

**Break a leg~!**

_~Chapter nine: well that was attractive…~_

* * *

Like the snow that littered the Uchiha estate, the rest of the Christmas holidays simply melted away, and I soon found myself standing in my dorm room wondering where the hell the last two weeks had gone. My parents had mailed my Christmas presents to the dorm, and Anko, being the nosy, dango loving and drama addicted responsible figure she was _just had to check_ in case there was an explosive devise acting as an insurgent under the wrapping paper. That was the_ 'excuse' _she gave me for unwrapping my Christmas presents and then sticking the paper back on like crazy paving, like it would justify her actions. To my surprise though, I wasn't too bothered by the fact that she had, I was more peeved off with the fact that she then told me what I had gotten before I'd had the chance to unwrap the already unwrapped presents myself. I'd also had a scintillating phone conversation with mother and father dearest, saying how they had missed me over the break and couldn't wait for the next time we broke for the school holidays. Whilst they were rambling, I wondered whether the Uchiha's would mind me imposing on them again.

I'd been interrogated by Sakura the moment I'd stepped foot onto TonTon grounds, Konan filling her in on the _'juicy'_ moments. And because of that, I count my blessings every day that she didn't catch that awkward moment Deidara and I shared at the Christmas market (even if I ended up on his lap at one point in the limo, which she did use as cannon fodder once when we were still at the Uchiha's) because she'd never let me live it down, and see it as something more, which I never want to happen; because even though my credit cards were fantastic weapons if I had to kill someone with them to keep my secrets, I'd never be able to go shopping again. Bloodstains are hard to get out of the little nooks and crannies – _not that I know from experience though, haha, why would I?_

Soon though, once the new school term had begun, I entered a routine of throwing myself into work, eating lunch with Naruto and co, ignoring the A-cat-sue-key when they showed up to let sleeping dogs lie and all that. It was when I was sat in Biology with Zetsu or English when I was forced by Tobi to sit with him and Hinata did I talk to the A-cat-sue-key members; yes I even paid no attention to Deidei or Sasori in art. Today, I was to be enthralled by the company of Zetsu whilst learning about an in depth structure of cells and the function of organelles.

"I never did say thanks…" the green haired adolescent sat next to me began, golden eyes never leaving the PowerPoint slide show Jiraiya-sensei had put up on the interactive whiteboard.

"Thanks for what?" I ask, eyeing him nervously, still unsure about whether he was joking that one time on Christmas morning when we all learnt about his habits.

"For the gardening gloves, they come in handy…"

"Oh…" _you might as well ask him, that way you can have a weapon on hand if he snaps or something…. _" Do… Do you actually grown cannabis plants?"

Golden eyes flicker to me for a brief moment before switching back to the slide show which at the moment was a rather interesting fact file on Mitochondria "No I don't."

"Oh, but you said-"

"I don't, it was sarcasm. Nobody gets my sense of humour."

"Satire?"

"Hm… I guess you could say that. I grow exotic plants, so I've experienced a few that contain hallucinogenic features. I don't dabble in drugs though, I know better."

"Oh, okay…" _well, I don't have to worry about him being a junkie… _**[1]**

For the remainder of the lesson we worked in silence, making notes in our exercise books when it was appropriate to do so before the bell rang for my next class. Art…

Quickly taking my seat Kurenai-sensei places a stack of folded papers on a desk near the front and asking the students to take one and pass it one. "As you know, you'll soon be receiving a question for your exam. _Today_ in fact. There is only one question this year. It is well rounded and suited to all of you, hence why there are no multiple choices. Before you get to work planning ideas for not only your final piece but also examination prep work, I also have an announcement to make. Over the Christmas holidays, I was overjoyed to found out I was pregnant" **[2]**. There are quiet whoops of '_congratulations'_ and _'who's the father?_' before she shushes the class, "That means that just before your exam I will have to go on maternity leave. I am sorry to leave you before such an important event, but as you all know, if you do need help, come and speak to me or as for my email at the front of house. That way I can monitor what you are going to do throughout the examination process…"

_Wow… I didn't expect that… I didn't even know she was in a relationship- oh wait, there's an engagement ring…holy shi-_ite_, that is a _rock,_ not a precious gem, __**A ROCK**__! _

I catch Sensei's eye, and motion to her hand giving her a thumbs up. She smiles softly, a hand fluttering to her abdominal area, the baby not showing yet of course...

A folded piece of A4 is slid across to me by Blondie, as I am last in the queue to receive my exam question. Murmuring thanks, I flip open the paper and read:

**_Expression:_**

_Artists proclaim that art is an expression of their feelings or thoughts. What does art mean to you and how do external factors influence the art you produce?_

_Okay, I think I can deal with this question... _

"Now class," Kurenai claps her hands to gather our attention, "I'd either like you to take one of these ring bound sketchbooks or for you to produce a concertina sketchbook **[3] **of your own for your research phase, and if you could begin researching now, that would be a bonus."

I shuffle to the front, picking up a ring bound book, noticing Sasori do the same, and Deidara choose a concertina one. Before sitting back down, I gather some brown wrapping paper and also graph paper from the scrap paper draw and a glue stick to add collage to the plain sketchbook pages. I go to flip open the front cover of the book, finding a stark white page staring back at me.

_What does art… emotion… what does it mean to me?_

"Dana, what do you think of art, un?" Blondie asks his red-head friend. Interested, I turn to watch their conversation tapping my fingers on the blank page before me.

"It's obvious brat, "Sasori scoffs, "Art is eternal. It should last forever."

Deidara snorts, "You are _so_ wrong, art is fleeting. Art is a bang! It should only be around for a short period of time."

"Your view on art is primitive, brat. Art is to be appreciated for a long time. It is eternal!"

"Nu-uh", _did he seriously just say that? "_Fleeting, yeah!"  
"Eternal!"

"Fleeting!"

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting!" **[4]**

"Eternal! Akiko-san, what is your view on art? I presume it is eternality like me?" Sasori inquires, dragging me into their petty disagreement.

"No way Dana, she'd obviously agree with me, yeah!"

They turn and face me expectantly; "Uh… well… I guess art is anything you want it to be?"

"That doesn't tell us anything, yeah!" Deidei exclaims throwing his hands up in a mini tantrum.

"It means, you _uncouth blonde moron_, that art can be anything that it _wants_ to be. It can be viewed as fleeting because you experience it once, but eternal because it sticks in your memory! It changes every time you remember or see it again, also depending on how you view it or how you are feeling will dictate what you feel about art!" I rant, puffing loose hair from my braid at the end. I'm surprised I didn't reach for my hidden library card and slash at him with it whilst ranting, I must either be acclimatising to all things '_Deidara'_ or my temper isn't what it used to be… Deidara and Sasori stare at me wide eyed, shocked at my little…Er…Outburst.

"…That's _deep_… hmm…" Deidara mumbles dismissing the fact I had insulted him before showingmy opinion. _Pffsh! Take that you blonde arsehole! _

"I believe Akiko-san took the moral high ground and agreed with both of us, brat. Although I do like your ideas on art, Akiko-san. Very interesting…" Sasori gets a faraway look in his eye; flops open his sketchbook and begin to draw.

I turn back to my own sketchbook and proceed to pull chunky strips of graph paper and arrange them onto the page to begin my collage. I then stick them down, steeling some scissors that were in front of Deidara and cutting loosely around the exam question, before sticking that on the top left corner of my front page, all the while pondering what I could do for this question.

_Expression… inspiration… art…_

_Well, I usually can find inspiration from people around me, what I feel and see at the time also dictates what I can draw or create- THAT'S IT! _

I begin planning a mind map showing my 'ideas' of the planning stage in the front of the sketchbook quickly, not wanting them to slip from my mind and be forever forgotten.

_I can draw portraits of the people I know, and one of myself wearing the expression they make me feel the most! I could also do this-_

I'm planning my ideas so intently, I hardly hear the bell go for the end of the lesson.

* * *

The bell sounds for the end of the day, and I luckily bump into Sakura on the way back to the dorm.

"Sakura!"

"Oh, hey Akiko! What's that you've got with you?" she motions to the sturdy ring bound book I've cradled for the rest of the day since art.

"It's my sketchbook for art. We've started the exam prep work…" Sakura nods and we walk in silence for a few moments.

"I was thinking, we never did anything for New Year's eve, did we?"

"What do you mean?" I ask the pinkette.

"Well, TenTen, Hinata, you and I, we never did anything for new year's eve or Christmas…"

"And…?"

"We should do something. This weekend!"

"Like what?" I say, genuinely scared of what Sakura Haruno may be planning.

"Hm…" she taps a well looked after nail on her chin, "What about… A dorm sleepover!"

"But we already stay in the dorms together…"

She swipes at my arm, luckily I dodge before I end up a limb lighter; "I meant, we could all just stay in one room, have a sleepover."

"Oh, and Anko would let us do that?" _that's it; threaten her ideas with authority…_

"Of course!" I hold in a groan.

"But its _Anko. _She doesn't allow fun unless she's the ring leader, ergo- _she won't allow it_!"

"She will though, Miss Kobayashi, because in some sick twisted way, Anko _likes_ you." I must make a face because she quickly rearranges what she says; "NO! Not like _that_! I mean she seems to tolerate you more!" I breathe a sigh of relief.

"If she really liked me that much, would she throw objects at me every time I'm in a five metre radius?"

"I have a feeling that's her showing affection."

"Well that's some fucked up morals or dorm head has…"

I say no more on the matter, the spot of my scalp that usually gets hit by Anko's projectiles (TV controls, cushions, shoes and kitchen cutlery) twinging remembering time and time of having to duck and dodge quickly and not succeeding.

Sakura looks at me with pleading eyes, and I will myself not to crack.

_I shouldn't do crack- because this is a bad idea. I can just tell already that something will happen- and that it will involve ME._

With Sakura persistently breaking my resolve, I sigh but will myself to perk up at the prospect of a little friendly get-together; "I still think its not a great idea, in case Anko gate-crashes it, or worse, Ino and Karin- but what the hell… let's do it!"

* * *

It was bound to go tits up as soon as Anko got wind of what we planned to do.

We scheduled our little gathering on Friday evening, being oh so secret about the affair- we'd casually dropped the idea on TenTen and Hinata later that day, and I even scouted out Konan-sempai to invite her too.

Somehow though, Anko, the laziest dango-scoffing-couch-potato ever known to mankind had overheard us making plans in the kitchen on Friday morning, and decided to gate crash our miniature event when we snuck down for refreshments at roughly half ten at night.

"Oi, what was this I heard about a sleepover?" she says, sliding a dango globule off a skewer and piercing it between her teeth menacingly. _That poor, poor little dango, rest in peace little buddy… Well…as well as you can I suppose after being ate by Anko…_

We had all frozen at the sudden sound of her voice, ransacking the dorm's kitchen cupboards completely forgotten. There's nothing but slight whimpering emancipating from Hinata, then- _Riiiiiiiiipppp_! As TenTen opens a packet of popcorn, crunching away happily and handing the pack to Konan who scoops fluffy kernels into her palm liberally.

Both Sakura and I give the pair a glare which connotes _'So not helping!'_ which Konan ignores (still picking at her snack daintily to retaliate) and receives us a wide popcorn lined grin from TenTen.

Seeing as those two wouldn't be helping us out anytime soon, and that Hinata was possibly going to pass out (Anko has that effect on people…), Sakura shoved me forward to plead our case:

"Uh… we were just- gathering snacks, yeah, we're pretty hungry!" I scratch the back of my neck nervously.

"Oh, really?" Anko steps closer, placing her hands on my shoulders and scarily raising her eyebrows, head threateningly lowered to undermine me.

"…Yes?"

"Why do I not believe you?" I can smell the dango she just ate on her breath. I gulp.

Hinata is the one to finally crack; "We w-w-were gathering s-s-s-snacks for our s-s-sleepover!" Sakura groans as she admits, and I can feel a cold sweat break out on my body.

"Do you know what this means, Kobayashi?" Anko says, a grotesque grin splitting her face, shaking me as she asks one of the most fatal questions ever. I wobble my head. Anko cackles lightly…

"It means we're playing truth or dare!"

_We're all doomed…_

* * *

"Okay, I'll start" Ino claps her hands together to gather our undivided attention. Anko literally rallied the troops (the members of the girls dorm who could be arsed to clobber down the stairs and sit in a circle, and the less willing members who she pulled of their rooms by any means necessary (by dragging them by their legs or chucking them over her shoulder- Anko's freaky strong for a couch potato…)) and it turned out even Ino and Karin wanted to play. The only problem was, nothing is straightforward with Anko, so truth or dare got a whole lot more life threatening.

Quite a few of the dorm members scarpered at this point leaving a few students I didn't know, myself, Sakura, Hinata TenTen, Konan, Ino , Karin and not forgetting everyone's favourite dango-munching dorm mother to play. We must have either been extremely stupid or frightened of what Anko would do to us if we quit sticking around…

It started off lightly, Hinata picked truth and got asked who she had a crush on. Of course, with a face full of rouge she answered candidly, answering with a soft _'Sasuke Uchiha'_. A few of the door members fussed over her cute reply, others (probably Sasuke fan-girls) gave her sharp glares, mostly Karin and Ino, but the sound of cracking knuckles (Sakura) made them think twice. Anko just leered at the humble Hyūga, who after the encounter in the kitchen earlier didn't know quite well what to do with herself around Anko, and promptly passed out for a small period of time.

And so it continued the gentle stream of truth or dare. Until Anko decided to pick on me.

"What's the matter, Kobayashi? Chicken?" she said when I swallowed harshly. My eyes must have been the size of dinner plates. "Truth or dare, Kobayashi?"

"…Dare." _I must be insane!_

Anko laughs wildly, rubbing her chin while the others stare at me incredulously, obviously fearing for my life and possibly non-existent sanity.

"Hm… I dare you… to sneak into the boy's dorm and infiltrate one of their rooms, then get out without being caught!"

"Done deal." I utter, getting to my feet and wobbling slightly whilst glaring forcefully as she rubs her hands together, "You may as well go to my room, it's across from Deidara's so I can make a quick exit." The group scuttles off; Hinata shoots me a sympathetic look, and Konan wishes me good luck, smirking all the while before they too follow the others to my room.

I decide to leave shoes behind, seeing as they'd make too much noise for an espionage mission. The gravelled pathway digs into my feet as I make my way to the boy's dorm.

_Now… where could I get in?- Ah! An open window! Ooooh~! There's a drainpipe for me to climb up too!_

On what must be the same story of the boy's dorm as where I had been stationed in the girl's dormitory one solitary window stood open while the others were latched firmly shut. _Who has their window open fully like that in _January _for Kami's sake? Not that I'm complaining… _

Tiptoeing over to the drain pipe, I hear faint murmuring coming from behind me. I stiffen, and immediately begin to climb, wrapping my hands around the cool metal piping and heaving my body upwards.

With a slight five minute struggle, I wiggle vertically just so much that I can grasp the window ledge and throw myself in to the unknown, landing with a thump in an undignified tangle of pyjama clad limbs.

"Akiko?" _I know that voice!_

"Sasuke?" I twist so that I am no longer interwoven, spotting the younger Uchiha sibling as he glowers down at me, arms crossed and hair fluffed up to the nines.

_It looks like it's been spruced… a spruced ducks arse… hehhehheh-_

"What are you doing here, Akiko?"

"I got dared, and your window was open- _Hey_! Do you know where Deidara's room is? Oh and how's your tomato plant?" Sasuke shakes his head at me as if to convey his disappointment, but I just shrug it off and get to my feet.

"He's two doors down from me, and they're not in season yet-" he snaps when I go to move, "-STAY HERE!"

"But where are you going?!"

"To get someone who _will get rid_ of you…" he growls, slamming his door behind him as he powerwalks out of here. For a moment, I'm stunned wondering if he'd go so far as to fetch Blondie for me, but then I realise that this is Sasuke I'm talking about and he'd never do anything like that, so in theory, I'm screwed because he's probably going to fetch the dorm head to kick me out.

Squealing, I make a b-line for the door, yanking it open and sprinting down the hall to Deidara's that fast Olympic Judicators would be impressed and possibly become bald from how quickly I was travelling. Not bothering to knock, I kick open Deidei's door and forward roll untidily into his room. _I really couldn't hack it as a ninja, I'm way to clumsy for my own good…_

"Who is it, yeah?" I'm on my feet so quickly shutting the door; I forget that Blondie _might actually_ be occupying his room…

…In nothing but his boxers…

_"OHMYKAMIMYVIRGINEYES!"_

"The _fuck-AKIKO?!" _Barbie grabs wildly at his bed covers wrapping them around him tighter and blushing as I cover my eyes in shock; and in a sick twisted way, I grasp we are now even on the whole flashing episode, seeing as he's one small slip away from partial nudity, which totally tops him seeing me changing.

_Why must I always find myself in such awkward situations?_

"What are you here for?" Deidara asks once a semblance of calm falls over us.

I dare to shift my hands a little, and find he's wrapped a sheet round his body like a toga; "…Long story short. Got dared by Anko to sneak in. Ended up in Sasuke's room. Sasuke is an arse. Ran to your room-" I make my way over to his window, "I'm now going to escape through your window and climb like a fiend into my room. _Ja ne~_!" I hop over to his window and roll up the blind, giving him a two fingered salute. Across from his room, I can see directly into mine, spotting the others and the dorm head watching intently; they all look a little shocked to see I'd gotten into the boys dorms, but even more scandalised at the scantily clad Deidara behind me, each moving forward to the window to gawp- Anko went one better, and had pressed herself up against the window pane; her face spreading out and smearing against the fragile glass.

_Well, that was attractive… _

"Hold it right there." A gravelly voice says, and I stop my attempts to pry Barbie's window open.

Turning slowly, I come face to face with a monstrous looking man who had unequivocally had to be the head of the boy's dormitory. He blocked the door frame, just so, but I could still see Sasuke's traitorous poultry shaped barnet poking out from behind his elbow.

_You will pay for this, Uchiha, I'm never going to play cupid for you and Hinata, and you just mark my inner monologue- y'hear?!_

The dorm head smirks at me as I quiver into the windowsill, eyes as wide as saucers. It was a terrifying sight, the way the scars across his face gnarled and gnashed into a threatening countenance.

One thing to say for sure was that he made Anko look like a Disney princess in comparison…

* * *

Ibiki Morino was utterly and completely what one would call… intimidating.

I'd been sat on a dining room chair for the last ten minutes or so in the boy's dorms, with him silently berating me whilst we waited for Anko to bail me out of this situation.

Yes, I'd dropped her in it. It was her fault I'd gotten into this mess in the first place, so she could come and rescue me… I'd been escorted out of a still embarrassed Deidrara's room, and frogmarched down the corridor to where the male students usually ate, finding that members of the A-cat-sue-key and my usual circle of friends had followed for the pure entertainment factors and my humiliation- Deidara; when decently dressed, had joined in on the observation too. From there on, I'd been subjected to quick-fire questioning, spilling my answers like word vomit. Ibiki had muttered something about how I wouldn't last if this was a real interrogation, snapped his fingers and one dogsbody had scuttled up to him and received the order to go and fetch Anko from- and I quote, unquote, _"from off her fat arse"._ I found that quite misogynistic **[5] **because although Anko hardly did anything round the dorm- that I knew of- she wasn't _fat, _just predominantly lazy. She was _voluptuous_ in form**[6]**. Who was Ibiki Morino to question a woman's figure?

Somehow, I don't think the glare I gave him did anything to prove my point, even if I'd been taking note whenever Fugaku-Oji-san, Itachi or Uncle Maddy lost their temper. Morino just leered back, as if my little death stare was like throwing rose petals in his face. If that was the effect it was giving, then I quadrupled my glaring efforts.

_I hope you fucking choke to death on rose petals you arrogant prick-_

"I HAVE ARRIVED!" my dorm head waltzed into the room, dragging the dogsbody from earlier by his ear_, the poor sod…_

"About time, Mitarashi." Ibiki growls.

"I'm fashionably late, Morino." She throws back at him, along with his lackey, who lands with an _'oof!'_ at Ibiki's feet. "Nice pet you got there, Morino, where can I get one?"

"I though you already had," he says, jerking a thumb in my direction. I scowl at him and he chortles darkly.

Anko cackles, "Kobayashi? Nah, Kobayashi is my _apprentice._" _That's the first I've heard of it, and if I actually am, I have good reason to be scared... Right? _

Ibiki raises an eyebrow at her statement; "Well you did a shitty job training her, Anko. She cracked after thirty seconds."

I look around the room: both the A-cat-sue-key and Naruto and co are enjoying this. Kiba and Choji actually thought to bring nibbles. _I hope you all find this hilarious and choke to death on those snacks…_

I start a little, wondering just how I've become so violent… _ Oh yeah, Anko. So this is what she must mean by 'apprentice'…_

"That's because we've not worked on interrogation yet, its mostly been torture tactics-" _hold the fuck up! 'Torture tactics'?! 'Interrogation'?! have these two got some kind of weird fetish going on?!_

"You sick, twisted woman!" I snarl, "So that's why you kept throwing things at me all the time!"

Somebody watching whistles lowly and a few chuckle thinking that maybe we were kidding, then she answers, "Of course, but I do like throwing things at you. It's entertaining!" she laughs wildly.

"I didn't find the butter knife hurtling towards my eye all that funny!" at this, the previous chuckling offenders gasp.

"…You dodged though…" she shrugs.

"That doesn't justify blatant _child abuse_!"

She shrugs and turns to Ibiki; "So, what are we going to punish her with?"

"What do you _mean_ punish me? You forced me into doing this!"

"The last time I checked-" she says, crossing her arms, "Truth or Dare was a completely optional game in which you chose to do the dare, but you could have played safe and chose truth. In the end, it's your own entire fault, even if I gave you the dare."

"But you could have given me another dare."

"You could have turned it down."

"You'd never let me live it down, so I had no choice!" I hiss.

She taps her chin with her index finger thoughtfully, "…True… So what are we going to punish her with?"

Ibiki stares at me, an odd mischievous yet calculating glint in his eyes; "Do you still have that costume from when we went to that convention once?" _I don't want to know what kind of conventions these tow attend…_

Anko grins, slowly catching on; "The one with the lace?" _That can't be good at all…_

"Yeah. That one." And they both chuckle at the recollection.

"You've got one hell of an imagination, Morino." Anko says and I gulp. _Kami help me, I can feel a Shinigami's scythe pushing into my neck already_. Ibiki laughs, the deep tones sending goose bumps up my arms and nervous shivers down my back, the sound petrifying me worse than any scheme Anko could cook up.

"You-" he points at me, "What's your name."

"Was that the only thing you didn't get out of interrogating her Ibiki" Anko says teasingly.

"It slipped my mind to ask, thank you very much." He gestures amply with a hand for me to answer.

"Akiko Kobayashi, Morino-san."

"Akiko Kobayashi, I hereby sentence you to one day's servitude as a household maid to the boys dormitory. A uniform will be required and will also be supplied by my colleague Anko Mitarashi. You servitude shall begin tomorrow morning, eight o'clock sharp, and shall end at eleven the same evening. Should you fail to wear your uniform or preform your duty, harsher punishment will befall on you. Do I make myself clear?"

What could I do in that situation? I couldn't shoot my mouth off, I was that nervous I wanted to run screaming from the room and simultaneously find a bathroom so I could empty my bladder, and I have a chronic dislike for sexism- knowing that this uniform that would be supplied would involve lace, garters, corsets and possibly worse... Plus I didn't really have much of a choice on the matter _did I_? I was obligated to do as he instructed no matter what…

Looked like for tomorrow only, I'd be the boy's dormitories maid. And from the lecherous grin Anko was ending me, I'd have the costume to match.

* * *

**[1] Don't do drugs, kidlywinks, it's not good for you. Even if everyone else is doing it: SAY NO. It doesn't make you worse than them, no matter what they might say to degrade you if you decline or to try and force you into it- don't give in to peer pressure. Think about ten years down the line when all the crap they've been smoking comes back to haunt them. **

**[2] Kurenai's preggers… I wonder who the father may be? ****_Hmmm…._**

**[3] I used a lot of those doing both my Art and Textile exams. They're essentially just a long piece of cardboard folded to form pages in, well, a concertina shape. They look really nice when collaged and used. **

**[4] Sorry, I had to add an argument over art, I just ****_had _****to…**

**[5] I love using that word. Whenever someone of the male persuasion says something sexist and I hear it, I go on a rant calling them a misogynist. I usually get blank looks after that. Duck you all, you silly, silly Neanderthals and your 'women should be chained to the kitchen' comments- I can do whatever the f*ck I want and my sophisticated lexis proves how narrow minded you actually all are! MWAHHAHAHA! (Sorry about that…)**

**[6] I always say that it's curves and muscle. Sure, there's bound to be a little chub here and there, but unless you're naturally a rake or have some kind of eating disorder or genetic condition, who doesn't have a little bit of an insecurity about their figure? **

**Happy New Year~!**

**Sorry this is late, but I've hit a bit of writers block when I struggled to finish my new one-shot "A mallet to the heart". But hey, better late than never, right?**

**Of course, I've got a few plot points planned for the future, but thinking of a school time-scale they are spread preeeeetty far apart and I don't want to force a time skip just yet. So, does anyone want to suggest any ideas for future plot points? Answers in a PM or review pleeeeaaassse?**

**I've recently rekindled a love for 7Up fizzy drinks, so that is whats currently keeping me awake and typing this at… ****_oh_**** 00.35am. Yipee…**

**And because I haven't done this since my authors notice at the very very very start, I'd just like to add:**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, all rights go to Masashi Kishimoto, blah, blah, blah… I do, however, own the OC Akiko, absurd plot points, one dysfunctional imagination and a headache from doing maths in Biology. Seriously, what part of this:**

**√Σ(X-x̄)²**

**_N_**

**Doesn't make your brain hurt by just looking at it. (^The equation for standard deviation…)**

**PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:**

"Nandemonai Asa ni" – GUMi (Produced by KEMU)

"Always like this" – Bombay Bicycle Club

"Forever and ever, Amen" – The Drums

"U & I" – Ailee

"Donut Hole" - GUMi (For Akiko attempting to be a bad ass ninja… and failing…)


End file.
